"Here's looking at you, kid"

I started an odd habit when i came to essex. i had a couple of seminars on american west and cinema for which i had to watch films. some of them were westerns and i continued this even when it wasnt required anymore, partially because i got a bit bored in my room. anyhow, i began to look at the issues of race and gender (apart from some others). i think films are always kind of a reflection of the society which they are made in. the best example ive in my mind is the magnificent seven films. the series began in 1960 and went until 1972. the first thing is that in all the films mexicans are always presented a bit inferior or bad. the bad ones are mexicans from the beginning. and the ones who need help are mexican as well. and peasants while the (predominately white) us-americans are the ones who help. tho the gunslingers have an unsteady life and very much likely to die in a proper shoot out they represent the ultimate values of individualism and freedom. they do what they want and they will defend their right to do what they want. and on the way to it they will help everyone who cant do what they want. whatsoever, the sequel guns of the magnificent seven was made in '69 and has a very interesting scene, i think. amongst the seven there are an one-armed and a black man. they dont get along very well until the black prevents the one-armed from cutting off the healthy arm. after this there is the scene where both are sitting around a cup of coffee (there is always some coffee in westerns..). and then comes the line "You tell me how it is to be a cripple and I'll tell you how it is to be black." quite apparently, black is more or less the same thing like being crippled (or disabled). both have less chances to do something and experience disadvantages in various forms. it suggests you have to be white and healthy to have success. and this in the context of late 60s america. the film reflects the whole debate around civil rights which took place then and takes a standpoint. furthermore, there are not many black actors in early westerns anyway. i remember morgan freeman in unforgiven. but he dies during the film.

yesterday i was watching captain hornblower on tv. the film takes (made in the 1950s) place in 1809 and hes an english captain with a secret mission which turns out to be useless and afterwards he defends the crown's interests on sea. at one point he has to take up an english woman with her (female, southamerican) maid. 'surprisingly' both the captain and the woman fall in love. it's unsuccessful in the beginning, but in the end they get each other. and it's kind of a forbidden love. both are married. however their partners die so it becomes legitimate. the thing i was thinking about was a scene in the first half of the film. both characters are facing each other and it's coming to a kiss. what struck me was that the woman is shorter than the man. she has to look up to him, in every respect. and he can look down, quite obviously. there are not many films where the woman is taller than the man, at least no love films. Casablanca came to my mind as well. bogart is taller than bergman. he can look down and say to her "here's looking at you, kid." and look up to me. maybe im not really good in films but only one came to my mind where the woman is taller than the man. it's a james bond film with grace jones. she is taller. but bond's attributes balance it (and his manly behaviour too) and she is one of the bads. it just seems as if films confirm the stereotype that the man have to be taller than the woman in a relationship. if it's not the case there is always some joking about.

the last film which comes to my mind now is how to loose a guy in ten days. i dont really like the film. it's the same old stereotypes. first thing is, although both have more or less good careers (guess what?!), he is working for an advertisement agency with emphasis in sports (and of course he loves sports) while she is working for a woman magazine, specialised in how to dress for men and to impress them. i mean there are more important things. and the final is when he stops her cab on the way to the airport and asks her to marry him. a real nice one.

i got a bit lost now but i would be happy about comments. there are definitely many many more films around which could be taken for one or the other side of the argument. maybe this last one: notes on a scandal. it looks quite good at the beginning. she has an affair with one of her students and seems to be independent. but in the end she is returning to her middle-class marriage where she gets the security. well.

Aftermath

Ha, so it was my birthday yesterday. I had some dinner with friends the night before and some drinks as well. I did some schnitzel with lots of veggies and potatos. It was really nice until I got terribly drunk (I was the only one of us, which is quite embarrassing). I got finally up at 2 in the afternoon with a headache from Colchester to my German hometown, a hangover I hadnt have for ages, and constant being sick (awful thing to write here) until early eve.

Anyhow, today i had one of those weird situations. I had a bath and tried to dissolve myself into the water (my usual bathing time is around an hour, after that my skin is just watered...). well, after half an hour the door bell rang and i got out of the water as fast as i could (it takes a bit longer in my age...). so when i answered the bell the postman was on the other side. he just wanted to say that i got a newspaper which doesnt really fit into the mailbox and that it will stick out a bit. nothing else. cheers mate. for this i got out of the warm, comfortable water and froze my b**. but i have to say it is very polite to let me know. if its raining i could pick up the newspaper so it doesnt get wet. so, after all, im grateful. but anyhow. 15 minutes later my mobile rang but this time i decided to stay in the bath tube. i didnt want to freeze my b** again. but these are situations which almost always go wrong. as soon as i get out of the water and dried myself a bit the call is gone. like, you hear the ring and you jump out and as soon as you get to the phone or the door it's gone. and you stand there, freezing, upset that you got out of the bath tube although you know that you wouldnt make it in time anyway. why are humans acting so irrational sometimes? everyone who wants something or has something important will ring again. but still. hm, these are my mindful thoughts of the day. you see the saying that you get wiser the older you are isnt always right. i should stop here really, this is getting disastrous now. sorry.

Weil ich heut' Geburtstag hab, da hab ich mir gedacht, zuende ich doch mal eine Kerze an und feiere ein wenig.

Ich wuensche einen schoenen Tag.

"That day I'll burn the whole place down,
when the circus comes to town."

Ja, und dann werde ich auch neue Sachen haben.

What if

...all humans fart at once?


privatewww.essex.ac.uk/~fbehli/

The last

I didnt want to post again today but I just read this and it's the last. The G 8 summit is close and to prevent any disturbance the German policeforce does a lot. For months possible persons have been observed, interrogated or even taken into custody. The new form of 'crime' prevention is to take samples of one's body odor. With that it will be possible to track down 'disquieters' in large masses of people with the help of dogs. These are quite good in smelling. Well, why not. The East German secret service did it. From every suspect there existed an odor sample. All I can say, welcome back. 40 Jahre waren nicht genug. We have to carry on. Good. No need for concern about human rights or so. Bloody humans, why were they born in the first place? Their own fault. Now they have to live with the state's intrusion of privacy. And the good thing is after all, it's completly legal. Yes, taking a sample of someone's odor is like taking his or her fingerprints. There is no difference. Although it is not even for sure what the real success rate is for convicting people for a crime on the basis of their odor it's used. It can't be wrong. Makes me sick. I decided to fart if anyone should ever attempt to take an odor sample from me so that I will spoil the whole bloody thing. Then they can smell what odor samples are like.

Call 999, immediately!

Please call 999 immediately!! I've to clean up my flat and I don't want to. Well, ok, it's not that serious. It goes easier: dispense some petrol over easily-burning things (books are quite good; wood from furniture not so much as there is too much chemicals in it which should prevent fire, just consult the fire certifacte of your closet); make sure they well soak up the petrol! Then distribute some ammunition that is left over throughout the flat (maybe you ask the local heavy ammunition dealer you most trust for some second-hand grenades, mines, or high precision bombs). If you have a gas cooker, open it, but dont light the flame yet. With the rest of your petrol draw a line to your front door. Before you light the fire make sure really everything (I mean really, really everything), which need to be cleaned, is in your flat. Maybe also anyone with whom you have to settle old scores. So, then, stand comfortable in your front door frame, light a cigarette (not with the match!), inhale, turn around as if you would leave and while turning around, light the match and throw it over your right shoulder. If you hear a boom you did everything right, congratulations. The only risk there is, is that the match goes out while throwing it. So make sure all windows are closed and it's lull. Oh and just a hint: have an insurance.

No, I'm not becoming nuts (and my flat is cleaned up, pretty well). I just read on an online newspaper that a nine-year girl called the police because she had to clean up her room. When the police arrived they found her sitting in front of a mess of toys. The police convinced her to clean and controlled the result after two hours. I will call the police as well next time because cleaning is against fundamental human rights. Every person has the right to live in a complete mess. Basta!

Inventory

Yesterday it became obvious that something goes wrong here. I met someone from the security unit here at the university and I got an inventory number tattoed on my forehead... nah, seriously, the last month i've basically been in uni from 9 to 9 every day. sometimes even longer. the reason for this is that i've still no internet connection at home because of BT's inability to get me a landline. so i've to go to uni to read emails and the like. there are always the same people around here. even on weekends. it seems as if a lot of students have no home at all. a few a even sleeping in their offices. but it is quite interesting to see what else happens after the 9-5 slot. from about 8 pm onwards there is always someone sitting in front of the departmental office and working there. instead of going to the library they prefer a cosy dark sociology floor. i dont know why they dont work somewhere else. i havent spoken to them so far but maybe i should and find out the reasons. i also know the floors which are locked late at night and during the weekend. the floor where the maintenance section is and which is a shortcut, is locked for example. i once tried to go there but i couldnt and had to go back all the way which was annoying.
at around 7 pm the security checks if all doors are locked and turns off the light. they already know me and even starts a chat now and then. i arrived now on a stage where the security leaves the lights on and i will turn them off when im leaving for home. there is really something going wrong. but it is amazing what they are doing. they are here every day and doing the same every day. they basically keep the uni running. they make sure that nothing happens to the 'ivory tower geeks'. later at night, i can see and hear undergrads getting drunk. and computer science students tackling some weird java scripts. but somehow it becomes segregated then. while the Caucasians go out and get pissed asians begin to work (or just play some online multiplayer fantasy game). it seems as if asians value education more and do a lot to achieve good grades. but i dont know. maybe it's just that they are living on campus and it's the easiest to work here.

well, i have to go to the security now and show my inventory number, just to make sure that no one has stolen me over the last hours... (maybe i will be equipped with a tracking device and a bar code one day so they will always know where i am)

The journey of a landline

I promised to keep you updated on the parody of me getting a new landline. So, it's done now. After more than a month without any contact to the outside world BT finally managed to install a landline at my new flat. Thank you BT! (In the meantime, I had several appointments where no engineer showed up, promised fault repairs, calls to BT's customer service (which service...), high mobile costs,... But anyhow, in the end I got a landline and I'm happy. No further mourning.)

Qualitantative

I've been marking the exams from the second year research methods course I'm teaching. The students had to answer three questions out of 12 to pass the exam. Here are some rough statistics: 75 percent of the 27 exams I got for this course contained at least 2 same questions. They only differed for the third one. But, 50 percent of all exams had answered the same set of questions. Maybe in a different order but I've been reading 14 times the same answers. 2-3 questions were very popular and one of them almost were answered in 90 percent of all exams. Only one exam had answered a question which no one else had answered. Overall, from the 12 original questions only seven were answered but with a highly unequal distribution. And apart from that, the answers mainly used the same sources and arguments. I could now probably tell you the books which will be used for referencing before I even read the exam answer.
This made me thinking how much difference between qualitative and quantitative research there really is. Each question had a chance of 1/12 to be answered in the first instance and 1/4 in the second (as there were three to be answered). Taking this to 27 exams, there were roughly 1000 possible combinations (to be honest, I'm not quite sure about the number because I didn't really listen when I was taught probability calculations...). Whatsoever, this never materialised. At the end, it were more or less all the same. The thing which struck me was that most students believe qualitative research (roughly, everything that is not numbers, so to speak, interviews, observations, documents and the like) is the best method to research what humans do and why they do it. With interviews it will be possible to account for the diversity of human behaviour. Hm. When I look at the exams the diversity is rather limited. Humans are not so different as it is assumed. I could do 10 interviews and would probably get 10 different answers, yes. But I guess most of it is just a variation. Not more. I could do the same with statistics. I will get a variation with some main answers that always come up. To analyse diversity I would just have to concentrate on the margins and see who answered there. To cut this thing short now, there is apparently less diversity in human behaviour as it is believed. I dont know really, but in the end it's all the same, isn't it? This doesn't mean that there is no real use for qualitative. There isn't real use for quantitative and statistics either. None of both is better or worse than the other. They just don't fully explain anything. In the end, we all buy at Tesco, have a Nokia, and use toilet paper. What we use these for might be different. But the outcome is the same. I don't starve, I can call, and I can whipe up something.
Well, I kind of drifted away again and I intended to write more about individuality when I started on this post. But let's get rid of hokus-pokus interviews and non-sense statistics.

Swallowing in music 2nd

i thought it would be good to post the "jack and diane" song by john mellencamp as well so you would know what i was talking about. unfortunately i cant embedd the video from youtube, only the link. but it should work tho.

"Jack and Diane"-John Mellencamp

i just did the posts today for distraction from other things. amongst others, i have exams to mark. 27 now and 24 next week. but i learned what 'pinny' means today.

Swallowing in music

I usually listen to music while driving but from CDs and not radio. i just cant stand this top 20 electro, pop shit which is played up and down all day. its all the same and the worst of all is the comments of the so-called moderators of such shows. their talking could be reduced to zero, nothing substantial there. anyhow. i recently had to choose new cds for driving. it lasted long until i found something and to cut a long story short, i ended up with john mellencamp. ivent really listened to him for years (in the literal meaning). its '80s rock music (again, the old topic) and i got into him when i saw "jack and diane" on tv. i kind of instantaneously fell in love with this guitar, clapping and single tone response thing at the beginning.
i remember that i listened to him in the car quite often when i was doing my civil service and served my country (i would do this again and even would introduce a law that requires a year of CIVIL service. a moving experience for life). this is one song by him. it sounds like a homage to us and praising it. but listen to the lyrics. its not. america is hypocratic. its true. he did kind of a similar song in 2003 with "to washington" where hes singing about the narrow win of bush.



so when i was listning to mellencamp, after 7 years now, i remembered my civil service. these nice little trips to town to deliver meals or do paper work at the bank. i had 30 mins or so to get to town, preparing the meal and getting back. i managed to get it all done in 15 mins but i was driving like a wanker. around a 100 km/h was the highest (tho never flashed, but im not really proud of it!). but it was more driving short cuts and avoiding ways with traffic lights. however, it was nice to deliver meals because the woman always was happy to see and to talk to someone. she was a cello player in a opera orchester and got the Handel medal in the mid-30s. sometimes she was talking about a dinner with the fuhrer. it was part of her life. it was interesting to listen to her and hear her stories. though sometimes it was boring as well. especially when i was really in a hurry and parking in 'deep yellow' zones... but one day, i brought her food for the last time as she couldnt live on her own any longer. i entered the flat and she has lost some poo which i had to clean up. after that she lived in the care home. i dont know what happened to her. but she was happy.
the whole civil service was really a strange experience. one of the residents notoriously run away. she was mostly violent and hit other people. and she wanted to go somewhere. nothing wrong with that, but she didnt know where to she wanted or where she was actually. once she managed to leave at about 5 in the evening. i drove around 20 minutes afterwards and tried to find her. but it was impossible. she just had disappeared. my work finished at 7 and on my way back home i saw her about 7 kilometers away, standing a large roundabout. i stopped and wanted to pick her up. but she was already gone. when i came to work next day i was told that she went as far as to a shopping center about 20 kilometers from the care home away, within 3 hours. this is really not bad. i never got to know how she got that far. she must have taken the bus. but no one cared and tried to stop her or talk to her. just shows that everybody just minds own business. it was also strange to see people ageing. i mean, i have known this before so this is not the point. it is just the thing that within the one year some's mental abilities decreased (i dont know how to express this better). at the beginning you could talk to them and they would remember you everytime. then gradually, they forgot you and you had to explain who you are. and then began to talk about things from their childhood. current events became less important. or just they couldnt remember anymore. from this circle there was no excape. once their health decreased they were bound to the bed and it never got better again. or maybe just slightly, but only for a short time. at the very end of my official service i had a very nice conversation with one of the residents. he served in the east german army where they screwed him mentally. he became depressive and psychological weak. we talked about paintings and where he had gone to holiday. the next day he jumped out of the window with apparently no reason. i had to clean up the blood from the walkway. i wont forget this. it was said that he didnt take his anti-depressiva in the evening. he survived tho and got back from hospital after a few months. he is still there.
it went a bit personal now and i drifted away from the music. it was going around my mind a bit the last weeks. it was a very interesting and moving time. i dont want to miss that despite such things. but i couldnt do it for a living. ive no strength to survive it really. people working there are very admirable and do unique things. and mostly women.

hm, i also found syd matters and listened to it. a bit franco canadian rock. and, too, about the us.

Deutschland: Null Punkte

Hm, I've had a conversation today about music and read something about a dodgy German Eurovision song. To be really honest, it's a greasy, slimy song. I mean listen to the song below. You are kind of lucky (if you cant understand any German) and dont understand what the guy is singing. (His name is Cicero, by the way. Poor Cicero you would come out of his Roman grave and would try to kill the singer...) So in this respect, just listen to this and hope that Germany really just gets zero points.



And, Beatles are not bad at all. This is not only a very good song but also a good video (U2 are only copy cats (sorry)). I apologise.

So

It’s done now. I’ve handed in the parts I had to write for my supervisor. Now I ‘only’ have to revise them. I’ll see how this goes. In the meantime and for relaxation here are the promised new posts. It's by far not exhaustive.
There’s a lot this time. So, turn on the video, listen to the music, and do the reading.

(but to be really honest, just listening to the lyrics, why do people think Beatles are so unique..?)



Leave comments.

Kein Kuchen, keine Kirsche, kein gar nichts

Das ist alles, was ich dazu zu sagen habe.

10 things I want to do ‘til the end of the year

Here is a list of 10 things I want to do until the end of this year.

1. Travel to Dublin (and live on Guinness)
2. Learning to cry
3. Eat oysters
4. Doing a 10-kilometre-run
5. 10 interviews with mid-30 year olds East Germans about their life in the GDR and FRG
6. Doing a sweet-sour sauce
7. 1 publication (yeah, not more than one academic thing)
8. Going by bus from North-West France to my German hometown (the local buses, not the long distance ones)

9. Walking barefoot through puddles in a summer rain

So, that’s it. It doesn’t take the world to make me happy. And no money at all. Hard to believe. But I’m already very happy about having this.

I know it’s only 9 but the 10th remains mine. Whatever you say. I will keep you updated how it goes. Oh, if it doesn’t work at all, I won’t be disappointed. There are enough things out there which are making me happy. As I always am. Many, many more such happy things have been and are on my mind.

Wohnung fuer zu Hause

Nun mal fuer die Daheimgebliebenen ein paar Bilder meiner neuen Wohnung (Ich hab'sie nicht gemacht, also nicht meine Schuld, wenn sie verschwommen sind). Ohne Kommentar. Wer die alte kennt, weiss warum. Und den Umzug habe ich nur nebenbei gemacht.

The Scots aren't niggards

Another good thing. I submitted a paper to the WES 2007 conference at Aberdeen University a few weeks ago. I got accepted. Already last week. But I now couldn’t keep it to myself any longer that I’m more than happy about this. BSA was work, but this conference will be fun. Just fun. I’ll present my work there and hope to get helpful feedback. What I’m going to present is this:

During the last twenty to thirty years, globalisation and neoliberalism fundamentally reconfigured relations between economy, society and state. Especially in the sphere of welfare, this has increased demands for complementary and alternative options to traditional governmental provisions. One possibility is the partial transfer of welfare responsibilities to corporations. Companies are a crucial component of society and influence many aspects. They can determine a nation’s as well as a person’s wealth. Corporate welfare, it will be argued, subsumes and defines such activities which enhance and secure the wellbeing of employees. Wellbeing will be understood in very broad terms. It comprehends psychological, socio-psychological, and physiological issues of an employee’s life. This broad definition, firstly, is possible as corporate welfare situates itself at the margins of economy, state and society. Secondly, corporate welfare concentrates on a smaller number of welfare recipients than states do and, hence, can provide different and more individualised benefits.
Various propositions with i.e. Corporate Social Responsibility, De-commodification or Transaction Costs have been made to explain economic, sometimes non-profit oriented, behaviour - but unsatisfactorily in their specific focus. In this presentation, a unifying concept of corporate welfare will be developed. Based on an empiric analysis of the British Workplace Employee Relations Survey 2004, it will be shown what corporate welfare could mean, what it can include, and what kind of measures could be taken to enhance the wellbeing of employees. It will be tried to give one possible answer the question of wellbeing in the 21st century.

Anyone who is interested in reading this just leave a comment and I’ll send it to you. And, I’m sorry about the niggard. I just mean that Scots aren’t so posh to invite someone from far-away England…. Schotten sind ueberhaupt nicht knausrig.

Node to the line

Another good thing. I saw an ad for a research job a few days ago and thought I should apply. It’s network analysis and I will be working on project which examines local political elites in East Germany. I got the job and will be doing this very soon:



Doesn’t look it nice? It's about why the Medicis from Florence were so powerful in the early modernity. It can be interferred just from looking at the relations to other families. And without giving too much away, they were so powerful because they had fucking good relationships. Kind of, you can f*** my daughter if I can get some informations from you.
This is just an easy example what you can do with these simple lines. It will be much nicer. And nothing and no one around that bothers me. Nod.

Ha

Ha, one of my neighbours apparently moves out.



But these are not the good news. Oh, and yeah, there is more than this. Believe. But no hints, you just have to guess. Don't be so impatient.

Oh, and yeah (the second), life is a disease that is transmitted through sex and ends deadly in 100% of the cases.

Ha, many things are happening and I cant really wait to post them here. But, work first. It's a lot that's going on. I'm really excited. I'll hurry up with work and post asap (in two or three days). In the meantime, please have a guess what it could be!!!

and, sorry for the 80s music, but after seeing this, it just can get better, ha.



Ansonsten, ich geb einen Dreck auf das, da hat sie recht. Aber warum auch nicht. Ich bin saufroehlich. So, please have a guess and tell me what things could happen here!!!

Break

I've a short break and I read that there was a drug case in the Vatican. A man (no woman...) had some grams of cocaine



and while watching that Clapton song he was caught and put to court. But they couldnt properly prosecute him because most of their laws are from the 1920s and there is no law on drug use. well this only shows how slow the church is. or past. or whatever.

Otherwise than this



though the song is about something different and though i finished my research proposal i feel sick when i think of all the things i have to do. i've no time whatsoever. even 24/7 doesnt help anymore.

(but i love that bloody stupid dancing and i hate my fucking phd at the moment; yeah "I used to think that happiness hadnt been, Invented, But that was in the bad old days before, I did my PhD, da da da...")

interlude

The Germans live in Germany,
The Romans live in Rome,
The Turkeys live in Turkey,
But the English live at home.

-JH Goring, The Ballad of Lake Laloo and other Rhymes, 1909

...and they pay ridiculous sums in rent and mortgage to live at home...