wish i was there and just alone with this, no work around
Friday, 27 April 2007
hi, i know it has been already a couple of days without any post. its just very busy at the moment and i dont know where to start or where to end. millions things i have to do and im completly stressed out. i simply have no time to write anything in this nice little blog. it feels like being burried alive. also, i dont know how to pay for food tonight. i cant even buy my drugs. there is absolutely nothing. anyway. no worries. ive to loose some weight anyway... and i could sniffle some petrol to get high and which also should help to get rid of any hunger. the only free thing, sleeping, i do as many hours as a day has. not this shit little 2 hours a day anymore. doesnt help anyway.
wish i was there and just alone with this, no work around
wish i was there and just alone with this, no work around
Traenen
ich hoer' gerade traenen luegen nicht, gesungen und celebriert von dieter thomas kuhn. ich waer mir da nicht so sicher, ob traenen wirklich nicht luegen. wahrscheinlich tun sie das naemlich. manchmal jedenfalls, weiss aber keiner. warum auch. gestern abend war ich mit dem englaender und der mexikanerin ein bier trinken und bin frueh ins bett gegangen. war jud. da gibbet es nix mehr zu sagen. ausser, dass sie dringend von jeglicher handlung abraten.
ansonsten, es geht vorwaerts. hausarbeiten sind erstmal kontrolliert, zumindest die, die ich schon habe. der karriere wird mit netzwerkpflege und viel vitamin b nachgeholfen. bald vielleicht auch eine richtige publikation. das waere doch mal was feines. draussen scheint die sonne hinter den wolken und es ist einigermassen warm. nun ja. ich will demnaechst mal auch wieder einen richtigen post machen. das kann ja nicht ewig so weitergehen mit diesen traurigen und hoechst unklaren eintraegen in dieses blog. vor allem, dass sie etwas persoenlicher sind, stoert mich. aber nunja, im moment ist es das, was etwas erleichtert.
ansonsten, es geht vorwaerts. hausarbeiten sind erstmal kontrolliert, zumindest die, die ich schon habe. der karriere wird mit netzwerkpflege und viel vitamin b nachgeholfen. bald vielleicht auch eine richtige publikation. das waere doch mal was feines. draussen scheint die sonne hinter den wolken und es ist einigermassen warm. nun ja. ich will demnaechst mal auch wieder einen richtigen post machen. das kann ja nicht ewig so weitergehen mit diesen traurigen und hoechst unklaren eintraegen in dieses blog. vor allem, dass sie etwas persoenlicher sind, stoert mich. aber nunja, im moment ist es das, was etwas erleichtert.
Thursday, 26 April 2007
zwischenbericht
nur ganz kurz. es passiert viel, aber auch gar nix. ich war in deutschland und habe etwsa fuer die uni gemacht. nebenbei gibt es andere sachen, die meiner aufmerksamkeit bedarft haben. nun ist es aber ruhiger und wahrscheinlich gibt es auch wieder ein licht am ende des tunnels. so oder so. hinterm ruecken geht es munter weiter. das sollst erstmal gewesen sein. vielleicht mal mehr, wenn sich noch was ergibt. fragt ja keiner.
Tuesday, 24 April 2007
Dont ask what you can do for your nation, ask what your nation can do for you…
Ok, well, I’ve to say I’m sorry beforehand. This isn’t quite fair to use jfk’s words in such a way. It just came to my mind to play around a bit. He’s probably a great figure in the political realm, with its pros and cons. Anyhow. While I’m waiting for my flight to germany I have been reading the guardian and the introduction of fascism or rather totalitarian regime to the us (its not holiday, just work. I heard and feel that I get only vacation if I do my research. My phd will tell me where I will have vacation. I hope I can change this and have vacation without research instead of research without vacation. Anyhow, I should come to my point.)
Another notice beforehand. It feels strange to punch on the same spot as everybody does when it comes to the us. It seems to be quite fashionable to mourn about the us and its hypocrite behaviour. Claiming freedom, and bringing war and domination. I think its just like every country, it has its own unique good and bad sites. Germany condemned the iraq war and engaged in espionage activities for the us (and probably gave a hand to the cia which wanted to have a nice quiet ‘chat’ with ‘good ol’ friends’.) in that sense the us isn’t different. Its all just a bit bigger, as usual.
’10 steps to a fascist america’
The article I read discussed how America can become a fascist state in 10 steps. First thing to do, creating enemies outside and inside the us. This shouldn’t be hard. I guess some would like to see the area between mexico and Canada as blank space. And there are enough people living in the us who do everything to make some spots in the us blank. Una bomber, Oklahoma city. All because of how America behaves. Second thing to do, having a gulag. Every proper totalitarian country needs a prison besides prisons. One is already known (and others are probably around the world). Third, having a ruling caste, meaning blackshirts terrorising citizens. A second executive. Fourth thing, surveillance. Yeah everybody has it, visible or invisible. I don’t know how many agencies are working in the us to ensure ‘freedom of information’. I guess even the irs has its long coats. Fifth, giving civil rights groups and critics choices. Of course, they can say what they want. There is just that one unpleasant issue… somehow, there has been a bank fraud. Taxes haven’t been paid for years. Buildings are unsafe. Resident permits are expired. We, the nation will take care of you, and you shut up. We can do this for you, no worries anymore. Sixth, have a list of all ‘criminals’ just in case. And make sure they remain on that list forever. No updates, just filling up. Seventh, pick out a few people and destroy them in public. Others will see it and consider their options. In other words, greatest output with the least input. Power is best be used if it isn’t used. Scare everyone off and oppression runs itself. Eight (why not earlier?) united we think. Good censorship will ensure this. Do china and us have the same think tank…? 9th, just say, its treason and everything will be fine. You don’t have to worry about legal definitions. We’ll do it for you. 10th and last thing to do, having a law with which you get rid of all others. Its more efficient. Less bureaucratic. And spares a lot of lawyers (sorry there. Nothing against lawyers).
So, what you think? Should there be a video titled ’10 easy steps to become a fascist state. Suitable for all countries with such intentions’? Your nation does a lot for you and your safety, at least, it believes so. Nothing negative with that. It is just the way it is done. And on what it is based. The fear assumes a kind of risk which isn’t there. The threat to the us isn’t that big as it is boiled. The way 9/11/ happened is terrifying and horrible. It just can be condemned. Still, the last attack on the us from outside, which I can remember, was on the world trade center with a truck in the early 90s. Nothing happened in the meantime from the outside. There is always a danger and a risk that someone decides to get mad. But I don’t know. It is just a thought. nah. I feel a bit unwell with that fascist. There is an underlying notion in that article. Americans are seen as a race which is better than others. It isn’t said but its there. I think fascism is abused in the article. It should really be used for states with a strong open racist policy. Not for something which might have certain elements of fascism, but also from totalitarian regimes. The title should be ’10 steps to an un-free america’. What is described, are signs of less freedom and liberty though it is questionable if the us ever fully was a land of freedom and liberty. Slavery, internment of Japanese-americans. Ghettos. Your nation in that sense can take your freedom away. This is what it can do. All in the cloude of democracy. You elected a president, did this to your nation, and your nation gives you something back. Democracy is the rule of the people. And as the saying goes, the masses are not always clever. But not all hope is lost. There is no article 48 which would allow the complete seize of the elected body and one-man ruling (still unnecessary male domination; we’ll see about hillary). There is the 22nd amendment that restricts presidencies to 2 terms. And there are elections coming. Every 5 years. Things will change. In some way or the other. And unexpected. Before America becomes a fascist state I will hopefully set my food on mars. In the meantime ask what you can do for your nation and what your nation can do for you.
Another notice beforehand. It feels strange to punch on the same spot as everybody does when it comes to the us. It seems to be quite fashionable to mourn about the us and its hypocrite behaviour. Claiming freedom, and bringing war and domination. I think its just like every country, it has its own unique good and bad sites. Germany condemned the iraq war and engaged in espionage activities for the us (and probably gave a hand to the cia which wanted to have a nice quiet ‘chat’ with ‘good ol’ friends’.) in that sense the us isn’t different. Its all just a bit bigger, as usual.
’10 steps to a fascist america’
The article I read discussed how America can become a fascist state in 10 steps. First thing to do, creating enemies outside and inside the us. This shouldn’t be hard. I guess some would like to see the area between mexico and Canada as blank space. And there are enough people living in the us who do everything to make some spots in the us blank. Una bomber, Oklahoma city. All because of how America behaves. Second thing to do, having a gulag. Every proper totalitarian country needs a prison besides prisons. One is already known (and others are probably around the world). Third, having a ruling caste, meaning blackshirts terrorising citizens. A second executive. Fourth thing, surveillance. Yeah everybody has it, visible or invisible. I don’t know how many agencies are working in the us to ensure ‘freedom of information’. I guess even the irs has its long coats. Fifth, giving civil rights groups and critics choices. Of course, they can say what they want. There is just that one unpleasant issue… somehow, there has been a bank fraud. Taxes haven’t been paid for years. Buildings are unsafe. Resident permits are expired. We, the nation will take care of you, and you shut up. We can do this for you, no worries anymore. Sixth, have a list of all ‘criminals’ just in case. And make sure they remain on that list forever. No updates, just filling up. Seventh, pick out a few people and destroy them in public. Others will see it and consider their options. In other words, greatest output with the least input. Power is best be used if it isn’t used. Scare everyone off and oppression runs itself. Eight (why not earlier?) united we think. Good censorship will ensure this. Do china and us have the same think tank…? 9th, just say, its treason and everything will be fine. You don’t have to worry about legal definitions. We’ll do it for you. 10th and last thing to do, having a law with which you get rid of all others. Its more efficient. Less bureaucratic. And spares a lot of lawyers (sorry there. Nothing against lawyers).
So, what you think? Should there be a video titled ’10 easy steps to become a fascist state. Suitable for all countries with such intentions’? Your nation does a lot for you and your safety, at least, it believes so. Nothing negative with that. It is just the way it is done. And on what it is based. The fear assumes a kind of risk which isn’t there. The threat to the us isn’t that big as it is boiled. The way 9/11/ happened is terrifying and horrible. It just can be condemned. Still, the last attack on the us from outside, which I can remember, was on the world trade center with a truck in the early 90s. Nothing happened in the meantime from the outside. There is always a danger and a risk that someone decides to get mad. But I don’t know. It is just a thought. nah. I feel a bit unwell with that fascist. There is an underlying notion in that article. Americans are seen as a race which is better than others. It isn’t said but its there. I think fascism is abused in the article. It should really be used for states with a strong open racist policy. Not for something which might have certain elements of fascism, but also from totalitarian regimes. The title should be ’10 steps to an un-free america’. What is described, are signs of less freedom and liberty though it is questionable if the us ever fully was a land of freedom and liberty. Slavery, internment of Japanese-americans. Ghettos. Your nation in that sense can take your freedom away. This is what it can do. All in the cloude of democracy. You elected a president, did this to your nation, and your nation gives you something back. Democracy is the rule of the people. And as the saying goes, the masses are not always clever. But not all hope is lost. There is no article 48 which would allow the complete seize of the elected body and one-man ruling (still unnecessary male domination; we’ll see about hillary). There is the 22nd amendment that restricts presidencies to 2 terms. And there are elections coming. Every 5 years. Things will change. In some way or the other. And unexpected. Before America becomes a fascist state I will hopefully set my food on mars. In the meantime ask what you can do for your nation and what your nation can do for you.
Monday, 23 April 2007
Childhood, and where this sometimes weird music taste comes from...
listen to it while you read the rest. maybe you feel sorry for me...
I mean, if you see this you already kind of know where this is going and what the answer will be. This is probably one of the first music videos i saw when there started to be music channels in germany. of course, i had heard music before this. but moving pictures can be quite something. anyhow. my music taste isnt everybody's. sometimes it is plainly considered as gay music, in the sense of very manly music. i dont know. i like guitars tho. and drums. and if its rock it will be fine. but yeah, i get easily bored with certain kinds of music after a few weeks and change the direction a bit. so its not only rock'n'roll i hear. i hear everything.
i just was introduced to other kinds of music, more recent ones. sounds really good and i started to like some of them, not all. the thing is also, that certain music is just made for a certain time. like jump. just look at those funny haircuts. look like a couch where the stuffing bursted out.... curly with massive chemical help (everyone had it in the 80s i guess). electric guitars (boah). a drumset which is twice the size of my flat (yeah, my drums are my castle). and the that certain touch of aerobic or sportic life. just one need to hear physical by olivia newton john. the last time i mentioned that song it was a joke. nothing else. i would and probably never could talk seriously about physical or olivia newton john (remember, her dancing with john travolta in grease..?). so, i think most music is just made for a certain time and will disappear after some years. very little will stay but thats ok. jump represents that kind of 'you can do everything, even jump, if you want to. just do it'-attitude of the very activity oriented 80s.
ok, i dont really know. i think my music taste is kind of weird because i have heard a bit too much 80s music and even more 90s. and got stuck in it. it is really hard to listen new, other kinds of music once you are in that 'trap', or? i grew up with this a bit. it isnt any excuse i know. but still. i remember my parents have this song on vinyl (you can listen to it while you browse through my blog)
it is still in my mind quite clearly though i havent heard it for ages now. it is a somewhat different time and thus represents something different. i havent time now to think what. i like that song too. and it isnt like jump. this comes just to my mind now: i think personal music taste, if you have one at all, is like a big mixing bowl. you start with the music your parents hear. then you hear more in kindergarden, school, through friends and the like. you buy your first cd (or download a song in 21st century). you kiss to a song and remember it. you have a road trip with a mix of songs. all this is somehow added to that bowl and then mixed together. at the end you have perfectly unique music taste. i hope so at least. maybe its not a special one. but its unique through its mixing. and the good thing is, some music will fall out of that bowl and new music will constantly come in. at the different times the bowl contains different 'ingredients'.
nothing to add there at the moment.
I mean, if you see this you already kind of know where this is going and what the answer will be. This is probably one of the first music videos i saw when there started to be music channels in germany. of course, i had heard music before this. but moving pictures can be quite something. anyhow. my music taste isnt everybody's. sometimes it is plainly considered as gay music, in the sense of very manly music. i dont know. i like guitars tho. and drums. and if its rock it will be fine. but yeah, i get easily bored with certain kinds of music after a few weeks and change the direction a bit. so its not only rock'n'roll i hear. i hear everything.
i just was introduced to other kinds of music, more recent ones. sounds really good and i started to like some of them, not all. the thing is also, that certain music is just made for a certain time. like jump. just look at those funny haircuts. look like a couch where the stuffing bursted out.... curly with massive chemical help (everyone had it in the 80s i guess). electric guitars (boah). a drumset which is twice the size of my flat (yeah, my drums are my castle). and the that certain touch of aerobic or sportic life. just one need to hear physical by olivia newton john. the last time i mentioned that song it was a joke. nothing else. i would and probably never could talk seriously about physical or olivia newton john (remember, her dancing with john travolta in grease..?). so, i think most music is just made for a certain time and will disappear after some years. very little will stay but thats ok. jump represents that kind of 'you can do everything, even jump, if you want to. just do it'-attitude of the very activity oriented 80s.
ok, i dont really know. i think my music taste is kind of weird because i have heard a bit too much 80s music and even more 90s. and got stuck in it. it is really hard to listen new, other kinds of music once you are in that 'trap', or? i grew up with this a bit. it isnt any excuse i know. but still. i remember my parents have this song on vinyl (you can listen to it while you browse through my blog)
it is still in my mind quite clearly though i havent heard it for ages now. it is a somewhat different time and thus represents something different. i havent time now to think what. i like that song too. and it isnt like jump. this comes just to my mind now: i think personal music taste, if you have one at all, is like a big mixing bowl. you start with the music your parents hear. then you hear more in kindergarden, school, through friends and the like. you buy your first cd (or download a song in 21st century). you kiss to a song and remember it. you have a road trip with a mix of songs. all this is somehow added to that bowl and then mixed together. at the end you have perfectly unique music taste. i hope so at least. maybe its not a special one. but its unique through its mixing. and the good thing is, some music will fall out of that bowl and new music will constantly come in. at the different times the bowl contains different 'ingredients'.
nothing to add there at the moment.
dunkel
im moment siehts etwas dunkel aus. nun ist pause und keine gefuehle mehr da, zumindest offensichtlich. ich hab keine ahnung. absolut keine ahung. nix ist klar.
Sunday, 22 April 2007
The English, The Weather, And The Donation Of An Umbrellas
it just came to my mind that i could say something about the relationship between the english, the weather and my umbrella. first thing to say: i have to get rid of my umbrella somehow. its just taking valuable space away. Second thing, the english are obsessed with weather. discussed here as one feature of englishness (good blog, by the way), here a slight mourning about weather , details here for, yeah, all i need to know about english climate, they even go to greenland to find out more about their own weather that the bloody green land makes. third, weather is socially constructed. fourth, you can always stay inside if its raining.
i dont quite know why there is so much fuss about english weather. its nothing special, its just weather. its sunny sometimes, its raining sometimes, its cold sometimes, its snowing sometimes. nothing more, nothing less. england is supposed to be drowned by rain every day. but, the last time i used my umbrella was last year or so. i cant even remember it. thats why i could easily donate my umbrella. i dont need it. the weather is acutally better than in germany. its raining less, its warmer in average (yeah again the tyranny of averages), its nice. so please, stop talking about weather. there is nothing to say or to be obsessed with. please, please, please. stop it.
i dont quite know why there is so much fuss about english weather. its nothing special, its just weather. its sunny sometimes, its raining sometimes, its cold sometimes, its snowing sometimes. nothing more, nothing less. england is supposed to be drowned by rain every day. but, the last time i used my umbrella was last year or so. i cant even remember it. thats why i could easily donate my umbrella. i dont need it. the weather is acutally better than in germany. its raining less, its warmer in average (yeah again the tyranny of averages), its nice. so please, stop talking about weather. there is nothing to say or to be obsessed with. please, please, please. stop it.
The English way of drinking
a bit more about yesterday's drinking and the english way to do. we met up with a friend to go to a pub. when we met him he had a plastic milk can with him. hm, why not. i never leave home without my beloved milk can. but at 10 in the night? i dont know if my love really is that strong. however. so we went to a pub to have some drinks there. and to get some drinks from there in that milk can. it was meant to take beer home. really. you can fill up a bottle, a can, or whatever you have (just let the beer run down your throat until your belly is filled up...) and take it home with you. i mean its necessary when you have to stop drinking at 11 (last call, dear ladies and gentlemen). this is quite funny. taking beer home from a pub in a milk can. hopefully, german health authorities dont see that. awful things could happen. the milk can might contain some deathly disease. the beer might turn bad on the way home. the beer could be mixed with left traces of milk. worst of all, the can might be so full that some beer is overflowing, dripping down onto the street and is lost forever. this would be really really the worst case. i dont even want to think about it (there is only one chance to save it which is kneeling down and licking it up). anyway, none of these things happened and we managed to bring the milk can with the beer in it home safely. thank god.
English TV, the second
Before i fall asleep last night i watched some tv and i think i have to say 'im sorry'. the english tv is better than the german. there were only two stations showing telephone gambling shows (yeah, those where you have to say what number is missing in 1+ ... =2, or how was elvis also called? the queen, , the senator?). through hard and sophisticated calculations i have come to the result that 40 percent of all british tv stations, available outside the digital world, show these shows. in germany it will around 60 to 80 percent around that time of the day. 40 percent in germany will only be those stations which have such shows 24/7 without normal program. and if its not a telephone show it will be a woman dancing around a pole, being a teacher, or pretending to play polo. the thing is, these "feminist" shows (could be, because it all started on a former feminist tv station, tm3) are the only ones who play music late at night. music stations like mtv or viva will have ring tone ads or these telephone things.
so, to conclude, im terribly sorry about what i said about english tv. it is not so bad as it seems. behind all those crap shows is something good. i just dont know yet really, what...
so, to conclude, im terribly sorry about what i said about english tv. it is not so bad as it seems. behind all those crap shows is something good. i just dont know yet really, what...
Dixie Wars....
After years of being a dad without a son Darth Vader has finally found a cosy place where nobody can see him so he can, at least, take of his mask and have a proper cry. It must be really hard for him. All those bloody wars between stars, all those fightings with swords, all those manly things. all the time being cruel, bad, horrible, cruising the galaxy to extinguish innocent peoples. but never being allowed to show his soft side, his smelly socks, the human behind the mask, his soft core, his emotions, his crocodile's tears, his dirty underpants, the picture of his mum in his pickpocket and the tatoo to it. i feel sorry for him and hope he was happy in that dixie loo.
Drinking
I survived yesterday's drinking after dinner surprisingly well. i hadnt even a hangover. I got up at half past 10. after i went to bed at 5. but i woke up my friends at 4 or so. im sorry for this. i just wanted to know whether they got home safely. im really sorry.
Saturday, 21 April 2007
well not yet. just found this:
"Die Grundlage eines jeden Staates ist die Ausbildung seiner Jugend." (Diogenes von Sinope, Philosoph 400 v. Chr.)
translated its "the foundation of every state is the education of its youth."
states should stick to do it. there is hardly anything more important. but it is sad to see that education is less valued and especially university students are assumed to be lazy bastards, doing nothing all day, except drinking. sociologists are just talking about things everyone already knows... they are absolutely not needed in society. actually they are. more than ever. maybe its a lot of talking done in sociology but this talk helps to understand why things are as they are and how it could be done differently, better. society and life is a challenge which has to be started every day again. every day requires that we think about society and life otherwise we will get stuck and cant get any better. or?
"Die Grundlage eines jeden Staates ist die Ausbildung seiner Jugend." (Diogenes von Sinope, Philosoph 400 v. Chr.)
translated its "the foundation of every state is the education of its youth."
states should stick to do it. there is hardly anything more important. but it is sad to see that education is less valued and especially university students are assumed to be lazy bastards, doing nothing all day, except drinking. sociologists are just talking about things everyone already knows... they are absolutely not needed in society. actually they are. more than ever. maybe its a lot of talking done in sociology but this talk helps to understand why things are as they are and how it could be done differently, better. society and life is a challenge which has to be started every day again. every day requires that we think about society and life otherwise we will get stuck and cant get any better. or?
What else?
I dont know what else. Today i will get the last things from my flat into boxes and hopefully can close that chapter for some days. in the evening friends will come over and we will celebrate the end of essays (at least for one of them). i will cook some german food for them. im looking forward to it. it will be quite relaxing from the last week. well i have to go now and prepare the dinner.
Average and their dominance of marks
i just read an article in a german newspaper about professors (sociology) who always give firsts. all students just had to sign in for examinations by these two and they got a first (yeah, they know how the rules are...). from 100 only 4 didnt. now these two profs have been banned from any further examination. the justification why they are not allowed to do examinations anymore was that their marks were above the average. the average tells what marks can be given. not the person. welcome to the tyranny of averages. i have to do marking for courses im teaching. there are no prescriptions what percentages of marks must be in certain ranges. so, not 1 percent should be a first, 10 percent upper second, 50 percent lower second, and the rest should be a third or fail. its not like that. but at the end my marks will be compared to the average marking of the dept. if this doesnt fit im screwed and have to justify my marking. this is ridicilous. i know that in other departments there are regulations for marking and teachers have to stick to it. you cant just mark. you have to consult the table with the averages first, then you can. what is the result of all this? there will be only averages, and not exceptionals any more. there are even commissions who examine the averages regularly and decide whether averages should be lowered or raised. if there is nothing to do create your own work and bureaucracy.... bureaucracy administers itself. good.
BT
Hm, I did as I said and gave BT a call. They are so sorry. There was a fire in the exchange and it wont be fixed until the 7th of may which is in two weeks or so. i got a new appointment on the 10th of may now. but im not in. i probably have to find someone who can be there for me. but why on earth is it impossible to call me yesterday and say that there will be nobody coming and that it isnt possible to set up a line now..? just takes a minute and spares me hours of waiting. in the meantime i have no line and cant still call anyone. or have internet. this is really annoying and its getting frustrating. i think bt wants me to use a fire and communicate by clouds with others... like indians do in western movies or cartoons (if they did at all). or i should use flag signals like a proper seaman. What shall we do with the unconnected sailor...?! i guess i have to wait and be patient. there is nothing i can do excepting mourning in these nice lonely evening hours where i could have called someone if i had had landline. i will report on the progress of this parody.
Now it's time....
Well, the time of suffering has an end. You can read a new post and you don’t have to be anxious that something has happened. Last week was very busy. I did a lot of work. For my own. And explained something to a friend. which wasnt work in that sense, it was pleasure. I could help out a friend which was very rewarding. Now it’s done and I’m really happy for my friend that there is no need to worry any more. I hope I could give a bit support there and helped to make the sun shining in some moments. Half past three today was a very lucky moment. I’m very glad I could be part of it. I gave my best and I hope that it will turn out to be good. I cross my fingers million times. Really. Nothing else to say.
So, I moved this week. The rat hole is past and a nice bachelor pat (as a friend said, and however pat is spelled) is future. I got some help with moving in which was very good. I don’t know what I would have done without. Sometimes you need a little help to see what you can’t see. The bags with the clothes are still here but they will be gone soon. Which is very good. Very very good. Someone really likes me and I’m thankful for that. I needed that step in my bum (to say it politely) to get rid of these things. I’m very very thankful. But I shouldn’t write this here, I should rather (das wird gesprochen, wie es geschrieben wird, zumindest in England) say it face to face. Thank you very much, muchas gracias, herzlichen dank. Ihana.
I changed my bt landline. Or rather, tried to change. I informed them last week. Which is alright and doesn’t leave me too long without telephone. This was my thought. But, I got the order confirmation this week and there was the wrong flat number on it. Ok. I phoned them. I explained that there is the wrong flat number and it should be 22 instead of 21. the answer was, oh we cant do this without issuing a new order which would delay your original one. Meaning, I wouldn’t have a landline until coming week. Hm. But they would try to. So I waited for their final answer. I was connected to other people from bt who always asked me for my account number first and let me explain what the problem was. After half an hour waiting I got really bored. Nothing happened. But suddenly there was someone who was allowed to change a 21 into a 22 and everything was alright. I thought. The landline should have been installed yesterday. Between 8 and 1 or so. I waited. And waited. I was there and did some work. But bt wasn’t there and didn’t came. Hm. Now I have to call them again and try to get a new appointment. While I’m writing this, it reminds me a lot of a socialist state. Always friendly, but they will do nothing except you really step on their toes and give them a decent hit in their nice little bums. It is annoying, that I have no landline and cant call anyone. And it will take ages to set up a new line. Why? I cant think of any reason. I.e. while I was waiting the other day that bt changes my flat number (really it isn’t a big deal to change a 21 into a 22, is it?) I got really upset by this superficial friendliness. They always say sorry and that they try to do their best. But they have their regulations they say and cant just change a flat number. And also, why do I have to wait 30 mins, talk to 5 different people, explain 5 times what the problem is, tell 5 times my account number, and only in the end everything will be fine? Maybe its me, maybe it isn’t? maybe I should take off my mourny pants and just be happy.
Anyhow. I’m really happy, still. I had a wonderful week and nice moments. I cant express my thoughts and feelings really. Im very happy about it. And I can only say three words. I hope I can hear them some time. But I don’t want to ask for them. Or pressure. Otherwise it will never happen. “…as you ‘are’.” What a wonderful night for a moon dance. I feel so. I would do it again. And again. 15th December.
I decided to watch a bit of English tv now. Bad decision. I guess. I was surprised. In germany, there are around 50 channels available, for free. There is every kind of show one might be interested in and every kind of “flavour” will be satisfied. Here, there are 5. that’s it. And the shows range from eastenders to coronation street. Basically. Tv is really really uber annoying. It looks like a 80s socialist country production where the “actors” (do I hurt real actors here?) act like actors. Omg. Just by seeing the hair cuts it would be justified to turn off the tv. Absolutely. There are really great emotions played on tv. The british actors act like human beings. Really they do. Its all real life they play. But they just play. It is not. It just a hoax. I just can laugh when I see this. There are a few good shows around however most of them I just can laugh. But its relaxing. I don’t need to think.
But there is one funny thing. Debates from the commons. Really engaging. Funny. Exciting. Challenging. Its not like in germany, where one is giving a speech and the next will give a speech. In England its more theatre. They can have a dispute. The others of the same party will buh in the background. And laugh. I want to get some tickets and see this live. I think I will have a great laughter. Politics can be fun. However, something serious. There are elections coming quite soon. And the general ones are not far away either. I can only wish that conservatives don’t come to power. Otherwise Britain will jump back to the middle age (even if david cameron smoked weed; owhee, bad boy……what a crime…!?!). I mean it shouldn’t be my business really. But having conservatives in power means a lot of embarrassment. There is no need for them. Their program is 20 years old. Times have changed. Its different now. I don’t know whether “over to you mr brown” would be a good alternative. But at least he is labour.
So, the time is 4 am now (the post was posted later. It is really 4 when I write this.) I think I will go to bed. Im missing. Im starving. Im hoping. Im happy.
So, I moved this week. The rat hole is past and a nice bachelor pat (as a friend said, and however pat is spelled) is future. I got some help with moving in which was very good. I don’t know what I would have done without. Sometimes you need a little help to see what you can’t see. The bags with the clothes are still here but they will be gone soon. Which is very good. Very very good. Someone really likes me and I’m thankful for that. I needed that step in my bum (to say it politely) to get rid of these things. I’m very very thankful. But I shouldn’t write this here, I should rather (das wird gesprochen, wie es geschrieben wird, zumindest in England) say it face to face. Thank you very much, muchas gracias, herzlichen dank. Ihana.
I changed my bt landline. Or rather, tried to change. I informed them last week. Which is alright and doesn’t leave me too long without telephone. This was my thought. But, I got the order confirmation this week and there was the wrong flat number on it. Ok. I phoned them. I explained that there is the wrong flat number and it should be 22 instead of 21. the answer was, oh we cant do this without issuing a new order which would delay your original one. Meaning, I wouldn’t have a landline until coming week. Hm. But they would try to. So I waited for their final answer. I was connected to other people from bt who always asked me for my account number first and let me explain what the problem was. After half an hour waiting I got really bored. Nothing happened. But suddenly there was someone who was allowed to change a 21 into a 22 and everything was alright. I thought. The landline should have been installed yesterday. Between 8 and 1 or so. I waited. And waited. I was there and did some work. But bt wasn’t there and didn’t came. Hm. Now I have to call them again and try to get a new appointment. While I’m writing this, it reminds me a lot of a socialist state. Always friendly, but they will do nothing except you really step on their toes and give them a decent hit in their nice little bums. It is annoying, that I have no landline and cant call anyone. And it will take ages to set up a new line. Why? I cant think of any reason. I.e. while I was waiting the other day that bt changes my flat number (really it isn’t a big deal to change a 21 into a 22, is it?) I got really upset by this superficial friendliness. They always say sorry and that they try to do their best. But they have their regulations they say and cant just change a flat number. And also, why do I have to wait 30 mins, talk to 5 different people, explain 5 times what the problem is, tell 5 times my account number, and only in the end everything will be fine? Maybe its me, maybe it isn’t? maybe I should take off my mourny pants and just be happy.
Anyhow. I’m really happy, still. I had a wonderful week and nice moments. I cant express my thoughts and feelings really. Im very happy about it. And I can only say three words. I hope I can hear them some time. But I don’t want to ask for them. Or pressure. Otherwise it will never happen. “…as you ‘are’.” What a wonderful night for a moon dance. I feel so. I would do it again. And again. 15th December.
I decided to watch a bit of English tv now. Bad decision. I guess. I was surprised. In germany, there are around 50 channels available, for free. There is every kind of show one might be interested in and every kind of “flavour” will be satisfied. Here, there are 5. that’s it. And the shows range from eastenders to coronation street. Basically. Tv is really really uber annoying. It looks like a 80s socialist country production where the “actors” (do I hurt real actors here?) act like actors. Omg. Just by seeing the hair cuts it would be justified to turn off the tv. Absolutely. There are really great emotions played on tv. The british actors act like human beings. Really they do. Its all real life they play. But they just play. It is not. It just a hoax. I just can laugh when I see this. There are a few good shows around however most of them I just can laugh. But its relaxing. I don’t need to think.
But there is one funny thing. Debates from the commons. Really engaging. Funny. Exciting. Challenging. Its not like in germany, where one is giving a speech and the next will give a speech. In England its more theatre. They can have a dispute. The others of the same party will buh in the background. And laugh. I want to get some tickets and see this live. I think I will have a great laughter. Politics can be fun. However, something serious. There are elections coming quite soon. And the general ones are not far away either. I can only wish that conservatives don’t come to power. Otherwise Britain will jump back to the middle age (even if david cameron smoked weed; owhee, bad boy……what a crime…!?!). I mean it shouldn’t be my business really. But having conservatives in power means a lot of embarrassment. There is no need for them. Their program is 20 years old. Times have changed. Its different now. I don’t know whether “over to you mr brown” would be a good alternative. But at least he is labour.
So, the time is 4 am now (the post was posted later. It is really 4 when I write this.) I think I will go to bed. Im missing. Im starving. Im hoping. Im happy.
Keine Ahnung
Nach langer zeit nun also mal wieder ein richtiger eintrag. Es gibt eigentlich nicht viel zu sagen. Die woche habe ich an etwas geschrieben und meine hilfe eingebracht. Heute hat es dann ein ende gefunden und von nun an wird der druck etwas weniger. Vielleicht nicht mein druck, aber ein anderer. Das ist erstmal gut. Statistik kann ganz schön hart sein. Aber nunja, man tut, was man kann. Nebenbei bin ich in die neue wohnung eingezogen. Fast alles ist nun hier, nur noch weniges befindet sich in der alten wohnung. Ich denke, dass ich das über das wochenende erledigen kann und dann alles der vergangenheit angehört. Wenn ich so den vergleich habe, habe ich mich merklich verbessert. Ich verlaufe mich wirklich manchmal in der neuen wohnung. Ich weiß gar nicht, wo ich bin und ich brauche wegweiser.
Was anderes. Nachdem nun alles erledigt ist, werde ich weniger gebraucht und das wird einem auch beigebracht. Das spiel geht weiter und es findet kein ende. Vielleicht sollte man wirklich mal game over sagen und ein neues spiel anfangen. Es fühlt sich komisch an, aber so wird es wohl sein. Sobald auch nur die sprache darauf gebracht wird, heißt es, ich beschuldige und mache fertig. Die opferhaltung kann sehr schnell eingenommen werden. Mal schauen. Ansonsten geht es aber gut. Das wetter ist schön. Die wohnung ist schön. Der doktor geht voran. Alles ist bestens. Nun fehlen nur noch die besucher. Aber die werden sicherlich bald einfallen. Hoffe ich zumindest.
Was anderes. Nachdem nun alles erledigt ist, werde ich weniger gebraucht und das wird einem auch beigebracht. Das spiel geht weiter und es findet kein ende. Vielleicht sollte man wirklich mal game over sagen und ein neues spiel anfangen. Es fühlt sich komisch an, aber so wird es wohl sein. Sobald auch nur die sprache darauf gebracht wird, heißt es, ich beschuldige und mache fertig. Die opferhaltung kann sehr schnell eingenommen werden. Mal schauen. Ansonsten geht es aber gut. Das wetter ist schön. Die wohnung ist schön. Der doktor geht voran. Alles ist bestens. Nun fehlen nur noch die besucher. Aber die werden sicherlich bald einfallen. Hoffe ich zumindest.
Wednesday, 18 April 2007
update
yeah i know nothing new here. but why? well, such a move is quite hard when you have to write a phd alongside. but everything is going fine and the moving boxes are getting less. i hope that i can do a proper update in a couple of days when really everything is sorted out. so long, you need to be patient and wait.
ich kann nur sagen, dass die wohnung wirklich sehr schoen ist und vor allem so gross. ich habe mich schon ein paar mal verirrt und musste die assipolizei anrufen, damit sie mich zurueck holen koennen. wenn das weiter so geht sollte ich mir vielleicht wegweiser aufstellen. und brotkruemmel auslegen, wie bei haensel und gretel. also dann, einen schoenen tag noch. hier sind 25 grad und sonnenschein.
oh, such a move is quite useful in regard of getting rid of really unnecessary things. like shirts i havent worn for hundred years. why the hell im keeping these..? it was really good to waste them now before they move from one continent to another with me. there are others who need them more than me.
cheers me
ich kann nur sagen, dass die wohnung wirklich sehr schoen ist und vor allem so gross. ich habe mich schon ein paar mal verirrt und musste die assipolizei anrufen, damit sie mich zurueck holen koennen. wenn das weiter so geht sollte ich mir vielleicht wegweiser aufstellen. und brotkruemmel auslegen, wie bei haensel und gretel. also dann, einen schoenen tag noch. hier sind 25 grad und sonnenschein.
oh, such a move is quite useful in regard of getting rid of really unnecessary things. like shirts i havent worn for hundred years. why the hell im keeping these..? it was really good to waste them now before they move from one continent to another with me. there are others who need them more than me.
cheers me
Sunday, 15 April 2007
Sold
hello, just a quite note on the side... i know there wasnt a post yesterday but i couldnt be bothered after a long day to write a post. i was at the conference and gave a paper as well. and i also got the keys for my new flat. and today neither really. but ive good news. i moved today and almost everything from the rat hole is now in the new flat. tomorrow i will do the rest and pack things out. i cant wait to live fully in my new flat. it is really lovely, much light, spacious, and above all, i can have bath.. and there is enough space for visitors.......... i hope you got that hint. so, but now, i will go to bed. im really really uber-tired. i need my sleep.
Friday, 13 April 2007
1984 contd.
Well, ok i made a mistake there. the archive already exists but now they want to open it for police so people can be checked much faster. but this prejudges persons, doesnt it? everyone is a criminal unless the opposite is proven. how low have we sunk that this could happen. the best thing would be to imprison everyone right from the beginning. then there would be no trouble or crime at all. all the roads would be free.... freie fahrt für freie bürger...
1984
so, germany plans to introduce some kind of national archive for all passport pictures of its citizens. and all fingerprints. welcome to 2007/1984 and GDR/DDR. I thought the stasi was bad but this is even worse because it is under the political system of democracy... i have to throw myself over
Welcome to University of East London
Today was a day. Yeah, a day. Not a month. Or a year. Well, today was a day. it was quite early when i fall out of bed. Around 7 or so. but anyhow. i went to london where the british sociological association (known as BSA; für die deutschen unter den lesern, bi es ä hat nix mit be es ä zu tun, das sind zwei völlig verschiedene dinge) held its annual conference. the university of east london hosts it this year (and hopefully not next year). just to say it beforehand. it is interesting but the venue isnt really nice. there is nothing around, it really is in the middle of nowhere. maybe they should have used the other campus of the university which is near stratford station. then, there might have been a chance to get a newspaper. and real coffee. but i dont complain.
so i arrived in at the conference at 11 and heard some very interesting presentations. corridors of power or power of corridors. she is interested in the actual appearance of corridors (ja, es steht ein pferd auf dem flur) and their conditioning of social situations. normally, corridors are examined as places where decisions are taking place. but she wants to see how people behave in corridors and what else can be done there. was really interesting and hopefully she does a bit more research on it. the there was a presenter who talked about census data. he looked a bit liked as if he has done a lot of national censuses. he tries to find out how identification with a certain ethnic background changes over time. at the end there was this kind of conclusion that it might be more likely that people identify themselves and their ethnic background in dependence of the answers from the questionnaire instead of having an own sense of their identity. so basically like getting served instead of cooking something own. hm. thats the way the world goes. just receiving not offering. just taking not giving. its kind of sad. a bit more giving and everything would be nice. maybe its too idealistic but what shall i do. i like to give. i also like to take. but i like most to give AND take. it doesnt meant that ive to share everything or so. it just means that it is nice to give something someone without expecting something back at the same time. just doing it. like going to cambridge the other day. just giving a lift.
but back to the conference. its beneficial to get such an overview about what is going on in such a short time. for three days i will hear really new things. not the usual stuff. like that things with the corridors. a sociology of corridors... if this really happens i will stop being one. then it went too far. it would be just a little step to have a sociology of farting, eh? nothing offensive. but sociology shouldnt dissect itself into small little pieces of which their creators think they are the only ones and literally 'sit' on them like hens on their eggs and defend them until death they part. hm. just a thought. i dont know. next to the uni is the city airport so that every other minute there was that noise from starting air planes. not predominately helpful if i try to listen to someone.
i got back just shortly after seven and had a short break. but only a short one. time is work. so i did my presentation for this conference which i will give on saturday (hah, not tomorrow on Friday the 13th... by the way, what does this word mean: paraskavedekatriaphobia? the solution will be at the end). it will be a nice day i think. although its future and i never know what will happen the next second.
nunja, ansonsten gehts immer noch gut. es wird gearbeitet und gearbeitet. es geht vorwärts. draußen lacht die sonne und alle sind glücklich. selbst karl heinz. ach, und am samstag spricht auch noch anthony giddens auf der konferenz. endlich mal wieder einen alten, berühmten und, vor allem, noch lebenden soziologen sehen. wird großartig sein. ich habe heute auch mal über mögliche zusammenarbeiten von stadt und uni nachgedacht. da könnte man glatt eine menge geld sparen. aber das nicht mehr heute. macht keinen spaß. ich habe echt keine energie mehr und muss mal ins bett. mal schlafen. morgen wird auch wieder anstrengend, obwohl ich nicht zur konferenz fahre. aber was soll ich machen. ist nun mal so. bis denn
well, thats it for today which was a day. just to say it, there is nothing negative in the german things ive written so far. its just a bit easier to read for germans (obviously...). so. the solution for that word is fear of friday the 13th. now im happy.... and can have some sleep.
p.s. now as i know what paraskavedekatriaphobia is i really feel better and my life seems to be fulfilled...
so i arrived in at the conference at 11 and heard some very interesting presentations. corridors of power or power of corridors. she is interested in the actual appearance of corridors (ja, es steht ein pferd auf dem flur) and their conditioning of social situations. normally, corridors are examined as places where decisions are taking place. but she wants to see how people behave in corridors and what else can be done there. was really interesting and hopefully she does a bit more research on it. the there was a presenter who talked about census data. he looked a bit liked as if he has done a lot of national censuses. he tries to find out how identification with a certain ethnic background changes over time. at the end there was this kind of conclusion that it might be more likely that people identify themselves and their ethnic background in dependence of the answers from the questionnaire instead of having an own sense of their identity. so basically like getting served instead of cooking something own. hm. thats the way the world goes. just receiving not offering. just taking not giving. its kind of sad. a bit more giving and everything would be nice. maybe its too idealistic but what shall i do. i like to give. i also like to take. but i like most to give AND take. it doesnt meant that ive to share everything or so. it just means that it is nice to give something someone without expecting something back at the same time. just doing it. like going to cambridge the other day. just giving a lift.
but back to the conference. its beneficial to get such an overview about what is going on in such a short time. for three days i will hear really new things. not the usual stuff. like that things with the corridors. a sociology of corridors... if this really happens i will stop being one. then it went too far. it would be just a little step to have a sociology of farting, eh? nothing offensive. but sociology shouldnt dissect itself into small little pieces of which their creators think they are the only ones and literally 'sit' on them like hens on their eggs and defend them until death they part. hm. just a thought. i dont know. next to the uni is the city airport so that every other minute there was that noise from starting air planes. not predominately helpful if i try to listen to someone.
i got back just shortly after seven and had a short break. but only a short one. time is work. so i did my presentation for this conference which i will give on saturday (hah, not tomorrow on Friday the 13th... by the way, what does this word mean: paraskavedekatriaphobia? the solution will be at the end). it will be a nice day i think. although its future and i never know what will happen the next second.
nunja, ansonsten gehts immer noch gut. es wird gearbeitet und gearbeitet. es geht vorwärts. draußen lacht die sonne und alle sind glücklich. selbst karl heinz. ach, und am samstag spricht auch noch anthony giddens auf der konferenz. endlich mal wieder einen alten, berühmten und, vor allem, noch lebenden soziologen sehen. wird großartig sein. ich habe heute auch mal über mögliche zusammenarbeiten von stadt und uni nachgedacht. da könnte man glatt eine menge geld sparen. aber das nicht mehr heute. macht keinen spaß. ich habe echt keine energie mehr und muss mal ins bett. mal schlafen. morgen wird auch wieder anstrengend, obwohl ich nicht zur konferenz fahre. aber was soll ich machen. ist nun mal so. bis denn
well, thats it for today which was a day. just to say it, there is nothing negative in the german things ive written so far. its just a bit easier to read for germans (obviously...). so. the solution for that word is fear of friday the 13th. now im happy.... and can have some sleep.
p.s. now as i know what paraskavedekatriaphobia is i really feel better and my life seems to be fulfilled...
Thursday, 12 April 2007
new day, dangerous day
hiya
a quick note before i let another miracle happen and go to bed (its still unbelievable that i sleep). today was very happy and more or less productive. i paid for my flat (hm, for the same amount of money i paid for 6 months i could rent a flat in berlin for more than a year, but never mind). running through town with a bit staple of pound notes was a good experience... can miss that easily. saturday at 9 then its mine. i will get the keys and i can move in. then i was tempted to buy pink allstars but i wanted to go to gym and was already late. if i would be paid for every milliliter sweat i would be already a billionair. maybe one day they will introduce this kind of reward scheme like tesco or payback has and one is given a point for every milliliter sweating. would be nice..? nah. wouldnt be and talking about sweating isnt really a nice topic anyway. sorry for that. i did some work in uni and prepared a presentation. and recognised that i should be a bit more straightforward in that and not talking around my arguments. but thats a bit continental academic style, ive been told. not my own thought. i still find it hard to have the argument first and then the evidences instead of evidences first and developing the argument from them. maybe one day i will get used to it. maybe not. but this isnt really a worry for me. but i had nice icecream today and half of a walk in sunshine. its really nice weather and i cant wait for summer. this will be just amazing. finally the whole eve i did a bit of work on that presentation. anthony giddens will speak on the same day as i do. hah. tomorrow i will go to london and attend the annual bsa conference. it will be interesting i think. and it gets me out of my dungeon. im really tired and annoyed by sitting here and only doing work. even an attempt to stay somewhere else this night failed. but i will dream of how it would have been. its just a dream. nothing more. im bored. no one here.
wie auch immer, ich werd' nun ins bett gehen und etwas schlaf suchen. ist auch bitter nötig. morgen wird ein langer tag. vielleicht auch wieder sonnig. wer weiß. das soll's dann auch gewesen sein für heute. vielleicht gibt es morgen mehr. ansonsten immer dran denken, wennste mittwoch überlebst, ist auch schon donnerstag. oder für die engländer unter uns: if you survive wednesday it will be already thursday. nothing more to say or to think. it was already strange enough.
schüß
a quick note before i let another miracle happen and go to bed (its still unbelievable that i sleep). today was very happy and more or less productive. i paid for my flat (hm, for the same amount of money i paid for 6 months i could rent a flat in berlin for more than a year, but never mind). running through town with a bit staple of pound notes was a good experience... can miss that easily. saturday at 9 then its mine. i will get the keys and i can move in. then i was tempted to buy pink allstars but i wanted to go to gym and was already late. if i would be paid for every milliliter sweat i would be already a billionair. maybe one day they will introduce this kind of reward scheme like tesco or payback has and one is given a point for every milliliter sweating. would be nice..? nah. wouldnt be and talking about sweating isnt really a nice topic anyway. sorry for that. i did some work in uni and prepared a presentation. and recognised that i should be a bit more straightforward in that and not talking around my arguments. but thats a bit continental academic style, ive been told. not my own thought. i still find it hard to have the argument first and then the evidences instead of evidences first and developing the argument from them. maybe one day i will get used to it. maybe not. but this isnt really a worry for me. but i had nice icecream today and half of a walk in sunshine. its really nice weather and i cant wait for summer. this will be just amazing. finally the whole eve i did a bit of work on that presentation. anthony giddens will speak on the same day as i do. hah. tomorrow i will go to london and attend the annual bsa conference. it will be interesting i think. and it gets me out of my dungeon. im really tired and annoyed by sitting here and only doing work. even an attempt to stay somewhere else this night failed. but i will dream of how it would have been. its just a dream. nothing more. im bored. no one here.
wie auch immer, ich werd' nun ins bett gehen und etwas schlaf suchen. ist auch bitter nötig. morgen wird ein langer tag. vielleicht auch wieder sonnig. wer weiß. das soll's dann auch gewesen sein für heute. vielleicht gibt es morgen mehr. ansonsten immer dran denken, wennste mittwoch überlebst, ist auch schon donnerstag. oder für die engländer unter uns: if you survive wednesday it will be already thursday. nothing more to say or to think. it was already strange enough.
schüß
Wednesday, 11 April 2007
miracles contd. last
the last miracle of today: i go to bed. how unbelievable is that? i will have some sleep. omg.
Tuesday, 10 April 2007
deutsch
so, ma was auf deutsch, damit die daheimgebliebenen auch was von mir haben. ich bin gerade von einem bier mit dem engländer zurück. nebenbei habe ich noch zwei fish und chips verdrückt. man weiß ja, wieviel ich essen kann. war ganz schön, nur zum ende hin wurde es etwas langweilig. was soll man machen. auf so einer insel passiert eben nicht viel. aber es war noch relativ warm und wir konnten draußen sitzen. direkt am hafen. so ist das hier. er hat mir sein leid geklagt und ich weiß nicht, warum.
davor habe ich mit der britischen telekom telefoniert, damit ich in meiner neuen wohnung auch wieder telefon habe. es wird zwei wochen dauern. und 12 monate muss ich auch dabeibleiben, weil es eine neue leitung ist. das ist wie im sozialismus, nur dass sie darauf bestehen, es wäre eine demokratie. naja. ich weiß ja nicht. was gibt es sonst noch? heute habe ich mehr oder weniger die miete für meine neue wohnung bezahlt und die letzte miete für meine alte überwiesen (nicht DIE alte, nur die alte wohnung; DIE alte kostet mich gar nichts, außer etwas liebe). den tag über noch dies und das gemacht. ein abstrakt für eine konferenz abgeschickt. hoffentlich werde ich angenommen. ebenfalls etwas squash gespielt (ich denke, ich kann es und werde nur noch gewinnen). danach ein alsterwasser, was hier shandy heißt. mit anderen worten, ich genieße mein leben und lasse es mir gut gehen in den pausen von meinem doktor.
na, und sonst? warum sind hier keine kommentare?
davor habe ich mit der britischen telekom telefoniert, damit ich in meiner neuen wohnung auch wieder telefon habe. es wird zwei wochen dauern. und 12 monate muss ich auch dabeibleiben, weil es eine neue leitung ist. das ist wie im sozialismus, nur dass sie darauf bestehen, es wäre eine demokratie. naja. ich weiß ja nicht. was gibt es sonst noch? heute habe ich mehr oder weniger die miete für meine neue wohnung bezahlt und die letzte miete für meine alte überwiesen (nicht DIE alte, nur die alte wohnung; DIE alte kostet mich gar nichts, außer etwas liebe). den tag über noch dies und das gemacht. ein abstrakt für eine konferenz abgeschickt. hoffentlich werde ich angenommen. ebenfalls etwas squash gespielt (ich denke, ich kann es und werde nur noch gewinnen). danach ein alsterwasser, was hier shandy heißt. mit anderen worten, ich genieße mein leben und lasse es mir gut gehen in den pausen von meinem doktor.
na, und sonst? warum sind hier keine kommentare?
miracle contd.
i was just sitting outside (after i had some business in the restroom, unbelievable) and what happened? a bird decided to poo on my red folder which isnt even the size of a4. How unbelievable is that..?! today seems to be a day of miracles.
oh, i had a coffee (unbelievable).
oh, i had a coffee (unbelievable).
Miracles
Good Morning!
Today, just miracles happened so far: i went to bed quite late (too late..). i had sleep (unbelievable). i woke up (unbelievable). i got out of my bed (unbelievable). i had something to do in the restroom (unbelievable). i checked emails (unbelievable). i continued in the restroom (unbelievable). the sun is shining (unbelievable). i brushed my teeth (unbelievable). i had a shower (unbelievable). i already spoke to someone on the phone (unbelievable).
just miracles everywhere this morning....
Today, just miracles happened so far: i went to bed quite late (too late..). i had sleep (unbelievable). i woke up (unbelievable). i got out of my bed (unbelievable). i had something to do in the restroom (unbelievable). i checked emails (unbelievable). i continued in the restroom (unbelievable). the sun is shining (unbelievable). i brushed my teeth (unbelievable). i had a shower (unbelievable). i already spoke to someone on the phone (unbelievable).
just miracles everywhere this morning....
bla bla bla
just saw that i already have posted some entries within a couple of hours opening that blog. why not one more?! i will get so bored with my blog in a few days time that i should really use the hours i have left and leave some mustard here.
today nothing happened what would be of interest to the world. i got up, yes unbelievable i know, had shower, read some internet (but not that kind of internet), and did some work. like any other day. but then i had this kind of experience where a second could change your life within a second. Everything could be different now if something would have happened in that second, or rather something would have been verified. but it was not. and im a bit relieved about it. sometimes, life really depends on seconds. which is amazing and somewhat frightening at the same time. one second, one bloody second, one tiny little fraction of time can decide for the rest of my life. like that one smile in last early october. im happy about that smile. very much indeed. isnt this very exciting? things can change so fast, so unforeseen. ping, ping and everything is different. and i cant do nothing about it. but, refering to an earlier comment today (yeah, the second one) isnt this very interesting? to get to know things by experience? opening a new door, attending an induction for something, and something new, life-changing comes, lurks behind the door? i was asked whether i think it was first sight. i think it was. it really was. thunderbolts are nothing in comparison to this. i didnt think of it. i didnt wait for it. i didnt assume it. i didnt expected it. and then it happened. the famous second. just a second. but all changed. a new twist to life. everything goes differently. how nice. i love it. i love that second in last october. its a bit like travelling. i love how things have gone since that.
Life is a journey: one never knows, where one will arrive, where you are heading to, who you meet. But this makes it so exciting. This, what one will get, one will has in his bag (what one can pick from that journey called life). One never knows, what one will find. Only one thing one will know: because it’s going on, one has to look forward. Stopping travelling, is something one should not do; maybe some time, when one met her, going slower and with her. Arriving could mean, stopping to live. Hopefully, one will never arrive. Once one met HER, one should travel in a compartment, not open plan carriage; first class, not economy. Finally, all one sees he will see with his heart. Eyes are blind.
life is really a journey. i live and things happen. omg. this is great. i cant do nothing about it. i dont have to control it. i dont have to worry about it. it will just happen. regardless i plan it, i think about it, i worry about it, i want it, i like it, i love it, regardless what i do. it will happen. it happens. this gives me some relief. that things will happen. and im free to experience them. im able to experience them. i will survive them. coz life will go on. the journey always goes on. i just like to grab the moment, to enjoy the moment, trying to make it last, to make a common time out of it, to see what else can happen, what else i can control. but at the end of the day, i havent the power to direct it. which is good. i will give it a go all of it because i like to regret things ive done than regretting never done it. or in german: lieber getanes bereuen, als bereuen, es nie getan zu haben. at the end of the day everything will look different than in the morning. its now 3 or so and i dont even know what will happen at 4. maybe a plane will crash into my flat (it wouldnt be a waste to get rid of that flat tho i dont know about me... others have to decide).
the other day i decided to pick up a friend in cambridge at 10 in the evening. just so. i didnt know i will do it when i got up that day. but it was lovely. living the day and enjoying the things that come. (just now, something good and relieving happened. i got something and i dont have to worry. i was waiting for it a couple of days and now its there. i didnt know when it will be. now it is. no worries anymore. this is how things can go.) so, this was really nice. at 8pm i didnt know where i pick him up. or if i pick him up at all. but then i did. i could do this for a friend. and i did this for me in some respect (though i hope for a drink on his expense... shandy would be nice). and above all, i didnt know him until a few weeks ago. this is just amazing (not breath-taking, other things are breath taking, hauptsächlich solche, die als diamanten erscheinen......). and now, im picking him up an hour drive away. the point is simply that seconds can decide future. some seconds do more, others do less. and not every second is important. i know. there will be days, where nothing will happen. or at least, it seems like. but there is always a chance. no one knows in advance what will happen. the best thing, i think, is to enjoy the second and to try to have these kinds of "second surprises". like the other day where we spontaneously went to dover. being optimistic and hedonistic about one's own life and try to get the very most out of it. i dont want to wait all the time that a second might change my life. sometimes i like to create a second where it changes. just so. and then, i can change my day, my life. it goes back a bit to my control. but still it is out of my control as im not alone. there are other in that "game". my friend could have said he will go straight back to colchester. the smile could have been just a smile. dover wouldnt have been nice. but there werent, he didnt. life went that way today and then, in the past. ive to live with it. i love to live with it. i dont have to worry about the past. everything is fine. i love the moments i had, the seconds i had. i cant change them, i dont want to change them. i only can try to create more such moments, such seconds, which might give my life a new twist and change it; sometimes just a bit, sometimes fundamentally.
hm, i just wanted to tell about my day. but it seems as if i drifted away a bit. and told about my life though i didnt really intended to. maybe blogs are kind of a valve for something else. i have to think about it.
today nothing happened what would be of interest to the world. i got up, yes unbelievable i know, had shower, read some internet (but not that kind of internet), and did some work. like any other day. but then i had this kind of experience where a second could change your life within a second. Everything could be different now if something would have happened in that second, or rather something would have been verified. but it was not. and im a bit relieved about it. sometimes, life really depends on seconds. which is amazing and somewhat frightening at the same time. one second, one bloody second, one tiny little fraction of time can decide for the rest of my life. like that one smile in last early october. im happy about that smile. very much indeed. isnt this very exciting? things can change so fast, so unforeseen. ping, ping and everything is different. and i cant do nothing about it. but, refering to an earlier comment today (yeah, the second one) isnt this very interesting? to get to know things by experience? opening a new door, attending an induction for something, and something new, life-changing comes, lurks behind the door? i was asked whether i think it was first sight. i think it was. it really was. thunderbolts are nothing in comparison to this. i didnt think of it. i didnt wait for it. i didnt assume it. i didnt expected it. and then it happened. the famous second. just a second. but all changed. a new twist to life. everything goes differently. how nice. i love it. i love that second in last october. its a bit like travelling. i love how things have gone since that.
Life is a journey: one never knows, where one will arrive, where you are heading to, who you meet. But this makes it so exciting. This, what one will get, one will has in his bag (what one can pick from that journey called life). One never knows, what one will find. Only one thing one will know: because it’s going on, one has to look forward. Stopping travelling, is something one should not do; maybe some time, when one met her, going slower and with her. Arriving could mean, stopping to live. Hopefully, one will never arrive. Once one met HER, one should travel in a compartment, not open plan carriage; first class, not economy. Finally, all one sees he will see with his heart. Eyes are blind.
life is really a journey. i live and things happen. omg. this is great. i cant do nothing about it. i dont have to control it. i dont have to worry about it. it will just happen. regardless i plan it, i think about it, i worry about it, i want it, i like it, i love it, regardless what i do. it will happen. it happens. this gives me some relief. that things will happen. and im free to experience them. im able to experience them. i will survive them. coz life will go on. the journey always goes on. i just like to grab the moment, to enjoy the moment, trying to make it last, to make a common time out of it, to see what else can happen, what else i can control. but at the end of the day, i havent the power to direct it. which is good. i will give it a go all of it because i like to regret things ive done than regretting never done it. or in german: lieber getanes bereuen, als bereuen, es nie getan zu haben. at the end of the day everything will look different than in the morning. its now 3 or so and i dont even know what will happen at 4. maybe a plane will crash into my flat (it wouldnt be a waste to get rid of that flat tho i dont know about me... others have to decide).
the other day i decided to pick up a friend in cambridge at 10 in the evening. just so. i didnt know i will do it when i got up that day. but it was lovely. living the day and enjoying the things that come. (just now, something good and relieving happened. i got something and i dont have to worry. i was waiting for it a couple of days and now its there. i didnt know when it will be. now it is. no worries anymore. this is how things can go.) so, this was really nice. at 8pm i didnt know where i pick him up. or if i pick him up at all. but then i did. i could do this for a friend. and i did this for me in some respect (though i hope for a drink on his expense... shandy would be nice). and above all, i didnt know him until a few weeks ago. this is just amazing (not breath-taking, other things are breath taking, hauptsächlich solche, die als diamanten erscheinen......). and now, im picking him up an hour drive away. the point is simply that seconds can decide future. some seconds do more, others do less. and not every second is important. i know. there will be days, where nothing will happen. or at least, it seems like. but there is always a chance. no one knows in advance what will happen. the best thing, i think, is to enjoy the second and to try to have these kinds of "second surprises". like the other day where we spontaneously went to dover. being optimistic and hedonistic about one's own life and try to get the very most out of it. i dont want to wait all the time that a second might change my life. sometimes i like to create a second where it changes. just so. and then, i can change my day, my life. it goes back a bit to my control. but still it is out of my control as im not alone. there are other in that "game". my friend could have said he will go straight back to colchester. the smile could have been just a smile. dover wouldnt have been nice. but there werent, he didnt. life went that way today and then, in the past. ive to live with it. i love to live with it. i dont have to worry about the past. everything is fine. i love the moments i had, the seconds i had. i cant change them, i dont want to change them. i only can try to create more such moments, such seconds, which might give my life a new twist and change it; sometimes just a bit, sometimes fundamentally.
hm, i just wanted to tell about my day. but it seems as if i drifted away a bit. and told about my life though i didnt really intended to. maybe blogs are kind of a valve for something else. i have to think about it.
flat
what i really wanted to say is that i will move in about a week or so. this is my new flat http://www.dezrez.com/drapp/Search.ASP?WCI=Particular&WCE=00825766
of course without the fancy interior.... i never have sparkling wine on my bed, except on special occasions but i would never post that here. im quite happy about my new flat. it is a real flat. and not a rat hole as those know who have seen my old flat. i think i will get some help with furnishing my new one. im happy about it. couldnt it be nicer? i will have a real kitchen. a real bedroom. a real living room. and a real restroom. omg
of course without the fancy interior.... i never have sparkling wine on my bed, except on special occasions but i would never post that here. im quite happy about my new flat. it is a real flat. and not a rat hole as those know who have seen my old flat. i think i will get some help with furnishing my new one. im happy about it. couldnt it be nicer? i will have a real kitchen. a real bedroom. a real living room. and a real restroom. omg
striptease
oh, i think, i love my blog. i can write everything in it without having to worry.
i just finished watching goodfellas. i watched that film the 10th time or so now. its still amazing. i love the opening scene where they stabbed that one guy in the trunk and shoot him a couple of time. its so much violence. and unnecessary. and ridiculous. i must admit, that i had a smile the first time i saw this. it was just like a joke. nothing has happend so far in the movie and all i see first is that violence. maybe im just too used to tarantino or other events that im not reacting shocked to violence really (or however shock is written... the good fay of orthography has left me long time ago. so everyone finding a spelling mistake can keep it and frame it).
i just finished watching goodfellas. i watched that film the 10th time or so now. its still amazing. i love the opening scene where they stabbed that one guy in the trunk and shoot him a couple of time. its so much violence. and unnecessary. and ridiculous. i must admit, that i had a smile the first time i saw this. it was just like a joke. nothing has happend so far in the movie and all i see first is that violence. maybe im just too used to tarantino or other events that im not reacting shocked to violence really (or however shock is written... the good fay of orthography has left me long time ago. so everyone finding a spelling mistake can keep it and frame it).
time
ok, i just saw that im totally illiterate with this new forms of communication. i saw that i can actually change the time. the setting was pacific summertime... thats why my postings were made at 4pm... i changed it now. maybe one day i will be able to use computers and the like in a way that i actually can use them. and not just pretend, that i understand while i actually dont understand. one of my problems, i have been told. that i sometimes pretend to understand or know things although i actually dont know or understand anything. but i always learn and im quite happy that ive been told. thanks mein ungeschliffener diamant.
reflexive thoughts
ok, after i was encouraged to open a blog, i probably should write something in it. the reason why i had no blog earlier is that i dont know really why humankind has survived thousands of years without and now all that fuss about it. apparently im in that trap as well. but still, what is so interesting in reading about other peoples life? telling them basically when i went to loo today and how my poo looked like... isnt that very interesting...? i mean, seriously, whats the purpose of it? the answer i got was that friends and family know what is going on in my life. but dont they know anyway? and isnt it quite nice to have some kind of surprises? isnt it nicer to experience someone in reality instead of reading it online? isnt that what life is all about? to be surprised and to learn and learn. when someone tells me how someone else is behaving or the like, doesnt this take all the fun out of it? wouldnt it be nicer to see oneself? be surprised about the turns in anothers' behaviour? i just read a blog of someone who doesnt like me or just dont get along with me. it was interesting to see how he sees world and how it actually is. blogs apparently have to purpose to create and define an own world. and also to create some kind of identity. back to goffman then? back in the good ol' days people opened their diaries or so, and now, they just write a blog and everybody kann seinen senf dazu geben. how amazing is this. i just hope that someone actually reads my thoughts. otherwise i just could continue talking to my wall (where a red wine stain still is). i just got a comment that it simply might be some kind of narzism. i could also stand in front of a mirror and see how i am. but i rather have a blog and see myself through my blog. how scary is that? (i just got scared that my posting is confusing, but i guess you have to live with that). i mean it is interesting to read what others do or think but in the end i wont probably die if i dont read it. so are these blogs just another form of narzism?
mal was anderes. ich hatte heute ein schönes abendessen und dann einen schönen spaziergang am meer, bei welchem meine hand gehalten wurde. und die sonne ging unter. was will man mehr..? morgen gibt es erst squash und dann ein bier mit dem engländer. und zwischendurch was für den doktor tun bzw. schreiben. manchmal wünschte ich, ich könnte meine augen schließen und alles würde sich von selbst erledigen. aber das wird wohl bloß ein wunsch bleiben.
but all this writing about blogs is somewhat tautological, isnt it? its like that: im jealous about the first word of this sentence. im posting my thoughts about blogs and why i think they are somewhat unnecessay and all this i do in a blog. hm, how ridiculous is this? this is strange. and weird.
nah, i will stop this now. maybe i can continue this later. open for comments.
mal was anderes. ich hatte heute ein schönes abendessen und dann einen schönen spaziergang am meer, bei welchem meine hand gehalten wurde. und die sonne ging unter. was will man mehr..? morgen gibt es erst squash und dann ein bier mit dem engländer. und zwischendurch was für den doktor tun bzw. schreiben. manchmal wünschte ich, ich könnte meine augen schließen und alles würde sich von selbst erledigen. aber das wird wohl bloß ein wunsch bleiben.
but all this writing about blogs is somewhat tautological, isnt it? its like that: im jealous about the first word of this sentence. im posting my thoughts about blogs and why i think they are somewhat unnecessay and all this i do in a blog. hm, how ridiculous is this? this is strange. and weird.
nah, i will stop this now. maybe i can continue this later. open for comments.
Monday, 9 April 2007
well, then
i just was talking to a friend on msn and he said a man's knowledge might be another man's wisdom, just to encourage me to have my own blog. i dont know about wisdom but anyhow. telling the world what im doing and doing some striptease of my life
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