Apart from that, I love the outcome of the G-20. Not-only did Michele sat next to a former DSS-recipient and an ex-girl friend of an ex-drug addict but they also pumped 1 trillion into the economy (that's 1.000.000.000.000, or roughly equal the FTSE100 of early 2008, and double the US defense spending, mind you...). That helps a lot. Not only that Michele meeting Carla (my preference goes for Carla) is on top of the news on the BBC website but it also shows the incapacity of most world leaders... Despite the usual argument of the failure of capitalism it shows that we will leave our children (the sheeps and seeds of the future) yet another 1 trillion dollar, on top of the existing bill. The crisis triggered through lending is healed through just more lending. Welcome in the 1930s. We know what happened then but this time there will be no sweat or tears. But how about if we let the "market rule" and GM (including the European subsidies), Lloyds, royalBS, HRE, Fanny Mae, and all the others let fail?After all, they didn't plan for the future in one way or the other, just for the short-term illusion. It's bad to loose 3% of the US GDP through GM's failure (I understand that point) but it would ripple us to the needed awareness that a foot on the property ladder or 70mpgs aren't good enough for a climate change, the quality of the house you get (there is no such thing as value for money), or sustainable growth. It's good that they try to curtail the damage but they should seriously start to think what factors caused the crisis in the first place. It started in liberal Western countries (and it should stop there) and not in social market or transitionary communist economies. Capitalism leaves us with two problems: distribution and wishes. For the latter, we can't all have what we want. Never been so, and even in communist countries choice was limited. And distribution will always be arbitrary, yet can be dealt with. But when we mix wishes with distribution we get into trouble as we are now. I can wish more than I have but it won't be mine, it'll be the banks (or whomever who gives credit). The state can guarantee it through welfare but nothing more.

OK, anyway, let's leave it there. Enough ranting on about. Glad, that they found a solution at least. Whether it is the right one remains highly questionable. But it won't be over yet, it's still infant. What a rant, I shouldn't do economics.

oh, and what i think about the new like-function of Facebook: firstly, there is no -dislike function. you can't say that you dislike a particular statement or post of someone else. FB automatically assumes that you will like it, one way or the other. Secondly, you can still click like if you dislike the post/status because of that uncertainty. The problem on FB is the difference between the information (pure status) and the message (the post of status and thus information). If s.o. writes Obama was beaten up by g-twenty protestors I can like the fact that protestors were beating up but I can dislike the fact that he was beaten up. FB leaves no choice between this. I think FB should change its options in this regard because you can only like a message but never dislike. nonetheless, if you like a message it is never for sure whether you like the content of the message (I like the message) or the implications of the messaging (what did the poster of the message wants to say)... It's simple sociology there but FB should change it...

in the last months i have certainly turned fundamentally anti-british. something i would have never thought off before. but it kinda happened. after all, britain isnt that great as it appears or wants to appear. even british see the point. this country once ruled the world but it doesnt and hasnt done so for a very long time any more. and the sooner people realise the better. but on another note, i realised that some of my objections might be racist in the sense that i overstate them without any comparison. today we had a discussion whether british males, in a general sense and i know there exceptions, are overacting to proof their masculinity (e.g. loud cars, abusive behaviour, beating up people, shouting c*** and w***** whenever possible) whenever possible. Well, I didn't know the answer to if a few other nations' males do the same. E.g. Mexican. I'm still thinking about it and I admit that my first rejection is wrong and that I have to rethink it. But still the question persists, why there are males (let's face it) who have fast cars, want to beat you up (without provocation), or think patriarchy is god-given.

Cake

again

Off those shores

the world continues. After reading a few essays which were Anglo-centric, e.g. strive for cosmetical surgeries is a sole British phenomenon or it's the non-native teacher's fault if students don't like him or her, maybe a bit new music for distraction.



Apart from that, happy that Britain wants to keep track on all conversations on social networking sites and only an approximate 1/4th of the governments databases are in stark violation of human rights... finally I can fart on FB and Gordon will know it instantaneously. If a bloke doesn't loose the records on the train beforehand. Ah, 25 years later... We should have a cake.

omg, i'm disgusted from notting hill. nice movie, funny and entertaining entertainment. but deep below, how far did feminism ever go? it the end, it is all about the boy doing the right things (apart from grant's posh accent). seriously, has feminism never happened? this feels wrong, and it is wrong. not as bad as gone with the wind but still the stereotypes are there. after erin brockovish she should have done better...

Yes, I still am.

I recently heard this song in a movie and it took quite a while to find out whether it's Bryan Ferry or David Bowie. In the movie, it didn't sound like Ferry and accidently there is a Bowie version as well. Anyway. If there is something by Roxy Music.



And there was something. I'm still young, shaking my pony tail, and rather splendid. What else can you say when you wake up with a broad smile on your face every day for whatever reason? Go, and get a life. He knew right then, he was too far from home. But I like it. 2008 was looking so right, above all the lights it had all of my skin. Seeing some old friends, was doing good for my own soul. And then came that morning, spending all nights alone in L.E.. Was giving and chill, in those high-born hills, with a passion that kills. I dropped all that nights, and lights for the rights. None is mine, in 2009. Plenty of smile, and hungry hearts.

Felix is...

on vacation. esto un turista! Salut, Widerluege, Schüß, Later, Hasta luego, við sjáumst aftur!

I'm being talkative today

if there is one album i would have to recommend to someone, it's dark side of the moon by pink floyd. i think it comprehends many situations one faces in one's life and it is a consistent, coherent and enjoyable cd; considering that someone wants to have something "round" and not just fast-pace-like-easy digestible-blur-of-something, like wiley, vampire weekend or lykke li. something proper. that album i think, you will have to go for.

but I'm open for suggestions! just tell me, what you think is THE album!

and besides this, maybe this one is expressing my feelings:



Feel so low some days
And only I can taste
Resent security
Obscuring all I see

In my mind
In my mouth
In my soul
Only you provide these symptoms that I show

I could go out in style
Go back from where I came
But luck sees to us all
And rarely plays the game

In my mind
In my mouth
In my soul
Only you provide these symptoms that I show

We've seen it all through many years of lonesome hell
Back to a place where we all terminate, we terminate

I guess that's getting the point. It's all in my mouth about everything but I'm unable to say it properly because of the stuff which has happened in the past, and going back before that is impossible, regardless how much I try. You know what there is right now:

:)

nothing more, nothing less. Go for it, mate!

just to avoid misunderstandings, i was wrong with 48 days, it's actually 42. but this doesn't change it. and the post's pure sarcasm; but I'm also not saying that everyone who hasn't "attended" the war on terror has a white vest. there is s*** going on in every country, Germany included, with her new legislation regarding ID cards and "ahead storage" of e-mails as well as phone numbers one has called, of everyone living in Germany. I fear that 20 years on, in 2014, the world has absolutely reached its "dooms day". Sadly as it is, maybe even before.

I'm looking forward to be away for a vacation in a few days. As much as I love Britain there are some things I can't come to terms with, things I truly find disgusting. Saying this, I leave it there. It has been a more or less nice day with much of happiness and smiles; maybe it was less after all. As read the other day, men are like clouds. If they go away in the morning it could actually be a nice day.

p.s. i was thinking, would the reverse of this joky remark be sexist or not? i guess it is.

This is what I'm talking about, come on

Lee is the apprentice, the colchester mp disses france and germany for saying No to a war, and Britain got rid of the magna charta.
Let Lee sell the now obsolete "paper" to Those people on the continent for a further 48 days while the MP joines Bush on the jury board for the next Who wants to have a clean record and tells them "You are fired!" Yeah, this is what I'm talking about!

BBQ

Last week we had a BBQ. There were a few reasons for this. Almost end of term, birthdays, a late friend, to catch up... Before I indulge here are some pictures, speaking for themselves.

Summer, Food, and Sun
(Thanks to Sim who took the pictures)

and: The Beauty of Smoking
First, it's a stream of cloud. Then it dips into light and forms sheep, circles, trains, faces, phantasy.... and it's pure physics, well with a little help of biology.
There is a lot talking going on about the bad things of smoking. But there might be a good thing if one is a fan of phantasy. Sometimes I lie on my couch (the best times are when you have a hang over or are on your way to have one, but not a necessity...) and having a cig and then exhale. it pretty much goes like the description above. It's a stream of blue, smelly something but as soon as sun or a light comes into the game it is fascinating. You can see little animals and other shapes. I dream off then and my mind wanders (nothing to do with drinking or other drugs). It's like being on a big summer field and watching the sky. Blue, clouds, low skies. It's a good way to dream and dig out your fantasy. The other day, when I followed my little blue animals, I saw how they dived away under a light bulb. And I think it's almost pure physics. The air around the bulb is slightly warmer than the rest which creates a stream like the one with weather. It's really fascinating.

For Sale

Something else. It's no wonder Tiscali Broadband is to be sold soonish. They offered me the "incredible" chance to move my landline to them and save 120 pounds a year! Great. "It would include a 12 months contract with them and a 120pound one-off fee to release me from BT"; but "you still could save 120 pounds per year..."
I honestly think Tiscali should do their maths before they call someone. I dont know if I will be in the UK in two years time when their offer starts to pay off in the third year of the new contract.

he woke up from a noise. he was driving into an industrial estate, lots of shops, towards an aldi store. they had a cafe there, the new ones like in mcdonalds, with latte, cappuccino and iced coffee. he wondered whether to buy a caramel shortbread with it. when he opened his eyes, it took him time to realise that he wasnt in an aldi store anymore. nor that he was going to order a latte with a caramel shortbread which would have been really delicious. the sun began to spread its rays into his bedroom. he collected his thoughts. no aldi, no latte, as much as he dreamed of. it was going on for days now. he couldnt remember the last night where he hasnt had that dream. driving into an industrial estate, lots of shops, seeing an aldi, to buy food. it always stop there. he bought food after the first dream. but it came back every night. he wondered whether this was a sign. a sign for something he hadnt thought of before. maybe his unhealthy diet, the pasta with meatballs every now and then. the chips with mayonnaise every other day. he had changed his diet, even eating less prawns. but still, the dreams were coming every night. as if to tell him something. he opened his eyes fully and soaked in the rays. the clock said 6 o'clock. morning. a new day to live with. he gathered his thoughts and gathered his thoughts. could he do another day? or would it be the day where he finally started to move on? he didnt know it yet. he didnt simply know. maybe this was the explanation of his dreams. his life was cheap like aldi. only one decision, whether to enhance the caffeine kick of brownish hot water with a caramel shorbread. nothing else. not, whether to save a man. to save the planet. to change something for the higher goal. nothing like it. only a coffee. he felt cheap and had to go out of his bed. his bedroom. his flat. away from it all. the sun tickled him and made him sneeze. yet another sign. his health was deteriorating. headaches, pain, feeling unwell. maybe he had done it all wrong and this was his punishment, tailored by someone to suit him. maybe he deserved all this. the dreams, the sleepless nights, the coughs, the pains. he had to do something. he looked around in his bedroom, just to find nothing new, and got up. his day had finally begun.

It's a natural fact
That I wanna come back,
I've been gone so long I know what to do
and I've been feeling this way for such a long time,
Taking me where I want to be
I've paid my dues to make it
I'm not happy when I try to fake it
Just I'm bound
Finally I've found,
That I belong here.

Whenever the world is cruel you have to be cruel to be kind
Then I'll be closer
Smiling with the mouth of the ocean
And I'll wave to you with the arms of the mountain
Step beside the piece of the circumstance
Look in the eye and testify

I do. Nothing to lose, nothing to hide. Except myself.

it has been going on for months now. generally so many things happen, which i could give account of here, but i'm really just bored. wanna taste? ages i went to a concert of someone i never heard of before. it was really nice and i got a free cd. he's "dylan-esque" i've been told and i liked it (although there was wolfmother's woman on right now; good if you are able to copy led zeppelin...). then i did some grocery shopping and had a nice talk with the cashier (not simon this time; i dont know if i wrote about simon before. he works every sat and he likes cricket. he's also a cashier and we used to have quite a few chats...). we talked about self-made food and the use of spices. and in between, i learned that proposing by women is not only a nordic tradition (as i had been told before) but also an english. good to know customs. one ladette actually proposed on air. nice one. basically, i live like a child right now: my eyes are open and everything seems so bright. i enjoy every breath i take, every single brick in a wall is like a god's gift, and everything seems to be a miracle to me.
so things are happening and i'm already happy if only the day begins (although this certain makes me happy, im not sure why yet). i've been watching lots of movies lately, i could write about. i liked twin sisters, days of glory, and fears in public places. and surely, amelie. if there is anything such romantic as this one, nice. or i could write about a former student of mine who wants a reference from me. so when i say bored, it's not bored with life. its bored that everything is going well. but never praise the day before its over. anyhow, i went for cakekitchen and candy dulfer the other day. tho they are quite different, it's nice to listen to them at different times. i found it splendid the other day, when there was a comment on a former post. i should have written a reply, a thank you at least. but a certain maniana attitude sneaked in. life is after all just beautiful. i mean if everything fails you can go home. because home is where, when you go there, they have to let you in. (not mine, i read it the other day). then i made quite a jump the other day as a decision came after a long wait. oh, im happy because one of my gifted plants starts to buddy! miracles of nature! i love to stand outside and see it blossoming. its awesome how it takes off and yet another life comes.
i went opposite mersea the other day for the first time. i always saw some lights and land from mersea island (well, people who know mersea know that you have something else in mind if you talk about an island; mersea is more like spilt over land slip; but bloody nice tho). so i went. luckily there is no nuclear power plant (you know what the peace sign is made from...? the navy flag signals for nuclear disarmament). there is just a coal power plant. and i found a tiny shell. lovely. splendid.

its all a bit confusing and thrown together but never mind; sorry. ups, downs, the usual stuff. which makes it exciting. im just a bystander trying to soak it all up.

oh, and for the new post, a music video. atmospheric guitars of course.



the lyrics are online.

well

i love the word splendid. i really do. i heard it before but last weekend it came up a lot of times and then i actually looked it up. im really happy that i learned a new word and this one is really one of my favs. splendid. whenever there is a chance i say splendid. i admit i might overdo it there but the occasions are not that many... so, from that point of you i think it will be all right.i deeply love it, i cant express how much i love it. to something completely different. today i initiated the transfer of my supervisor. it has been going on for half a year now and it is somewhat hard to fill someone in on the whole work you have done over the last two years (plus/minus). i had a few options which i checked and thought about and talked with. it now seems that ive found the new one. i think, it will be beneficial to have that change because i get a different perspective on my work. i dont know whether it will work what i do or not and i had quite a few nights over the last months where i was doubting the feasibility. the change was time consuming and nerve wrecking. but its coming to an end apparently. i ll see what comes next. splendid(!) apart from that, i got "politically" active again. its in inverted commata for a reason. im like a sponge when it comes to political, i admit. you cant really talk tough politics with me. sorry. the initial reason now was that there was a deployment farewell to soldiers from colchester who are going to afghanistan. i think this is a university where there should be strict separation between military and everything else (which shouldnt come as surprise after a couple of foregoing posts, with some considerate exceptions and I AM NOT entirely clear about every point). i think there should be no military at any occasion on the world on a university campus (and everything else). its complete nonsense. anyhow. there has been a discussion about it and we have written a letter to the VC asking some questions. we ll have to see what he answers but we want to pursue this further. and will do so. its a serious issue and it is somewhat worrying how uncritical british universities see the link between military and academic 'life'. so, if any other (cross departmental, cross university, or non-academic) fellow of some form or the other reads this and wants to join, get in contact. we have to wake people up.

although i have to admit, if im honest i would say its a bit like that beatles song "revolution". talking 'bout a revolution everything will be all right (read the lyrics). however, in the end if we dont start now we ll never do it and might regret it!

It's on days like these that i remember
singing songs and drinking wine
while your eyes play games with mine

I fell in love with this chorus. also with this one

The concrete and the clay beneath my feet
Begins to crumble

both make me dancing. im still bored but it's late at night, so forgive me...

Genuine

To be honest, I'm genuinely bored with this blog (it's not only you who are bored...).

strange

i just flicked through the boring german version of facebook (studivz...) and checked out old school mates. and on one someone asked what happened with some others and me. the guy who asked this, is from brasil and had been on an exchange to germany around 11 years ago. made me smile that he still remembered some of the names. and it reminded me that times have bloody changed. there was another incident earlier this evening when a mate from germany told me that he met some lads from my old school in a pub. one of those lads was going to oxford and my mate said that he would know someone in the uk. saying this, it turned out they were my old class mates... and they knew what i am doing here. gossip travels faster than light.

For Queen and Country...

There is this one ad on TV, you probably have seen it if you are watching British television. A guy is punching something into a computer and talking about his job. that he could have taken up a job with a big IT company and earned a lot of money. but that he enrolled for the royal navy, because its so challenging and he comes around. then he crawls around a computer, looking for a fault and says "well, you know, but sometimes we also just switch the on-off button like the normal geeks." and then you see a big submarine at full speed in the water.
Every time i see this ad i think to myself, what the f*** is he doing?!?! "well, we just launched a nuclear missile because we suddenly lost power in our computer-driven firing system. sorry lads..." Trust the royal navy, for queen and country.

what i am doing? well, its pretty fast told: first i did stats, then i did reading, and now im doing the writing. in between there are a numbers of other things. the list would be long. today i wrote on bits and pieces. so will i tomorrow. at the end, which is around end of feb for the moment, there should be 6 papers/articles á 20 pages and a few new bits for chapters. but be reassured, in my insaneness i invented a strategy so its capable.... in 2 weeks or so, there will be a week off from uni, but its already occupied with other things.
bla bla bla. before going into detail, i guess 3 on the job would have plenty to do. and i feel ashamed

i had this in an earlier post but decided not to publish it then. anyhow, you have to add "i listened to bbc suffolk" beforehand...

but how should i have got to know otherwise that the suffolk regiment returned to bury st. edmunds the other day?!? i saw them, not because of them but because of bury st. edmunds. went there. was the third time and still has some attraction. those blokes were children. sorry for that. they really are, both blokes and children. i think it must be strange for them to come straight from being under fire into their mum's arms (or their girls). but no one forced them to do so in the first place. its free choice, doing service. even tho the service may entail the loss of life. i went to radio 4s "any questions" the other day on campus. i actually asked a question but it wasnt picked. however, there was one about the rather inappropriate treatment of british soldiers. barracks are run down, payment low, and utmost, no recognition. sure. i think it was gordon the other day who said that every soldier should wear uniform while off duty to show proudness. well, why? there was a "vote" by the moderator at radio 4, asking the audience who thinks that british soldiers are treated bad. around 95% raised their hands, scary. i was sitting there and couldnt really believe it. i thought, this is university, people should have a critical mind. people should think about whether war really is the continuation of politics with other means or not. another reason, there are much more people out there doing their service to society. public service employees. nurses. academics. volunteers. recognition? treatment?
what was the figure i had in an earlier post? 500,000,000,000 US Dollars are spent by the US government for military purposes, in official accounts. intermit it for one year only and climate change could be impeded, starvation held, poverty fought, education topped up, and there would be still enough left. i know its a silly calculation and the usual argumentation. if if if. but why not trying it? you always can invade later on... ok. i stop here.

the last nonsense of the day is probably that article i read in a newspaper today. a co-pilot of a canadian airline freaked out after take off because of a fear of flying. he was battled down and after a emergency stop sent to a mental hospital. chosen the wrong job, i guess. one of my nicest flight story is probably the one where a woman sitting next to me, throw up for about 6 hours on a flight to the us. and she didnt eat anything in between...

while being half way through the dish washing i thought to myself that i should charge facebook for my time (and others). this time facebook asked me to help translating it into german. i signed up, why not. but, it saves them a lot of money if the community does it and not a professional translator. likewise with doctors. patients becoming more and more professional. patients help in finding out what illness it is, in the treatment and with various other stuff. and patients dont get paid for it. and to exaggerate, the cash nexus is reversed and we are now in a situation where we pay to work.

so, how does this facebook thingy work? whereever there is an english word i click on it and type in the german phrase. the translation is done while browsing.

Do i need to say more?!?! very nice evening and we had a lot of fun!! Bring it on, lads!!

Only the sky is the limit...

... or is it something else? well, to start chronological, today i finished a two days training course. nothing in particular for my phd, but for my other thingy. the course was given my an amazing professor here in the department who can kind of light the fire in you for sociology. it was really interesting and engaging. at one point we should think about something with which we could tell our life story. the first thing coming to my mind were music. apart from other weird things... and the song for all would be pink floyd's brain damage. i know some of you are already bored by this blog. "not again, not another youtube video, not another song, not another ranting on about music..." bla bla. back to pink floyd. ok, my interpretation wont certainly fit entirely, but it somehow reflects the continuous state of my mind. it all feels chaotic; thoughts entering on the right side, racing through my brain and leaving on the left side. and when i dont catch them, i lost them. probably. just from the short abstract below, it seems worse. but be reassured, it isnt. its just me... i absolutely love that song and if i take as a chaotic state of mind and the need to make sense from and with it, it will well fit my life right.

And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the hill
And if your head explodes with dark forbodings too
Ill see you on the dark side of the moon

The lunatic is in my head
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me till Im sane
You lock the door
And throw away the key
Theres someone in my head but its not me.

And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear
And if the band youre in starts playing different tunes
Ill see you on the dark side of the moon

(I know I wrote part of the lyrics before here, it's not that bad..) but it would only be half the current story. there are other songs as well. i written about this before, so no need to repeat myself. there would be manfred krug for a holiday in brittany, keimzeit's kling klang for my first guitar lessons (and some good and bad "after show" parties), CSNY's Sweet Judy Blue Eyes for my first year here, K's Choice's Another Year for cycling home from McDonalds, ... i think you got the idea. so anyhow, for me music would be a good way to tell my story. Anybody interested..?!?

Right now, this is on. Elton John, Rocket Man



I love the whole arrangement. Nice one. I want to be a rocket man too, only the limit is the sky. Is it? Listening carefully to the lyrics, rather not the case. Five days a week, he is a rocket man. On the weekend he's a husband. But Mars isnt the place for him, because its so cold and he doesnt understand science either... i leave the rest of the interpretation to you. but the prof was also talking about his experiences on the couch and with scientists. For me I take it simple. I want to become a were rabbit and then take off as a rocket man. Fly everywhere I want to. Maybe even backwards, and faster than light. Then I might have a realistic chance to travel back in time and I would, consequently, have more time now. But it's gonna be a long long time. For whatever comes around.

Other than this? Jazzing around, with Supercharged. And being happy. I will see you on the dark side of the moon...


p.s. yeah, i promised you some pics from germany. they will come, just give me time.